Before you get worried and call the depression hotline, please know that I am fine. However, with my 50th birthday closing in quickly, I have started thinking about a lot of things. I know that they say that 50 is the new 40 or the new 30, but it doesn't feel that way to me. I feel like it is harder and harder to ignore the fact that I am not young any longer and that "officially" the autumn season of my life has begun.
In a way, I am trying to make sense of my life and life in general. I know that material things don't make you happy. Yes, I wish I had more money because having money gives you more choices, but I know money doesn't make one happy. And I will take the word of others that sex, drugs, rock 'n' roll, power, eating, and drinking don't ultimately fill the bill either.
So, I am left with very little choice but to conclude that the fullness of one's life comes down to relationships. Personal, business, family, friends,and God; it all comes down to the
depth of those relationships that makes our lives full or empty.
And I must confess that I don't do relationships very well. I think some things in my childhood made me steer clear of deep, meaningful relationships. I have a ton of "friends" and get along with nearly everyone. However, I don't have friends that I feel comfortable telling all of my deepest thoughts to and sharing all my "warts" with. In fact, nearly all of my relationships are a mile wide and an inch deep.
Ironically, in many ways, I wish it was just the opposite.
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