Pent up Anger and Frustration

The very best word to describe last night was that it was bittersweet.  It was incredible and horrible.  The events of the night lifted my spirits to new highs and also plunged me into regret.  And yes, it was about the Tennessee State track meet but it was also about so much more.

Last night, I was so proud of Josh.  He gave up personal gain and recognition by not running individual events and helped his team by choosing to run relays instead.  And Josh was spectacular.  In the 4x800, Josh ran the first leg and destroyed the rest of the field.  He made the other athletes look like grade schoolers, not athletes that qualified to run state.  In the 4x400, Josh took the baton on the third leg in last place.  When he finished, he had put his team back in first.  It was brilliant and inspiring.  But more than his track accomplishments, Josh proved to all those that know him that he has a giving heart, is unselfish, and is willing to forego personal recognition to help others that don't have the God-given talent that Josh does.

That was the sweet part of the night.

The bitter part of the night was my doing.  For three years, I have kissed the rear end of a bully ex-marine that poses as a coach in an effort to try and get along.  But last night, after Josh ran so brilliantly, it was like a wave of emotion came over me that was uncontrollable.  And, in public, I called the "Cat in the Hat" out.  And I pressured the head coach for this other man's firing, and I made sure that this bully did not enjoy the night.

And yes, I am sorry that I embarrassed my family.  People don't like confrontation.  In my opinion, the bad guys always get away with a small slap on the wrist in private, while publicly humiliating others and leaving a debris field of shattered confidence, trust, and respect for authority in their wake.  And I am sick of it. 

So, I am not sorry that I called this man out.  I am not sorry that I didn't let him slip away into the crowd to enjoy his reward.  And I am not sorry that he felt too uncomfortable to come to the after-state party last night. 

He destroyed my eldest son's dreams in track, he has humiliated my youngest son for three years, he publicly betrayed Josh last week, and I will not give up the fight until James Johnson is not longer welcome at a track and field event.