Too honest about "Christians"

I went home tonight.  It feels so good to be home on a Wednesday.  The best part is that I will get to be home through Sunday night.  Ah, how sweet it is.  I can't wait to spend some time with my family.

But.....I am home because I have been summoned to court tomorrow and am being sued.  Sometimes, I feel like I cant wake up from this four year nightmare that I have been living.  I feel like it has been one step forward, two steps back.  I digress.  Back to the lawsuit.

I am being sued by a "fine Christian" man.  In my five minute visit to inspect his car at his home, he made sure to let me know that he was a Christian.  He was sure to tell me what church he attends, told me about his answers to prayer, and then used some of the usual "Christian" jargon like "fellowship" and told me his wife home schools because the public schools don't teach his values. Blah, blah, blah, blah, and blah!! And then he sued me.  I won't go into the details of why he is bringing a lawsuit against me, but trust me, it is very, very petty.

This young man is just one of a long, long list of "Christians" and churches that keep me out of the church.  I confess, I haven't been to church on Sunday in 3-4 years, since the time some boys beat my oldest son up during prayer.  I tried to attend some Saturday night services at another church but no one in the church spoke to me or my family for at least 10-15 services that we attended. I won't even go back to previous experiences that I have had with "Christians" and churches. It would open too many wounds.

I love God, I have had some incredible times of prayer and worship in my camper. I read my bible daily.  I want to band together with a group of men that want to go for it, no holds barred. I know I am not even close to being a "good" Christian and I know most people must feel the same things about me that I feel about "Christians".  But I am very close to never going back. I get so much more out of taking a hike on Sunday mornings, or just taking a long car ride through the country.  And I like watching Pastor Maury Davis on TV on Sunday mornings.

I wish that I would have set a better example for my boys.  I wish that I could have been strong like my father and grandfather who attended church no matter how bad it was or how incredibly fake most church members were in my childhood church.  But I can't.  It's not me.  I am sorry Spenny and Josh.  I pray that you can get connected with a group at college or find a youth group you like.  It is important.

Tomorrow in court I will try to "love my enemies and pray for those that persecute me".  I am afraid I will fail. Tomorrow after court, I will move forward and let the past be the past.  I will chalk my court appearance up to another "experience" in my life.  But in the back of my mind, I will always remember how I was treated by this "Christian" man and on Sunday, I will not attend church.