Why Do I Do This??

I'll be 47 in late December and I have finally figured out that I have several "character flaws" ( I can hear my wife saying "thank God" as she is reading this).  I like to blame my flaws on my DNA, but I know that I am responsible for what comes out of my mouth, how I react, and for my actions.  I wish I could control my temper better sometimes when I feel disrespected.  I wish I could always live by the "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" advice that I was given as a child. And I wish I could take back some of the things I have said to loved ones when I felt hurt or threatened by their actions or words.  I am working on those things and maybe by the time I am my granddad's age, I will finally be able to get a handle on some of my "junk"(maybe even sooner).

Growing up, my dad always used to say,  "Slow down.  You always have to be first, the best, the fastest, the strongest.  You drive me crazy!"  I just thought he wasn't as motivated as me.  But I still have this little character flaw that make me operate like a light switch.  I am either on and shining like a floodlight or I am in the "off" position and totally in the dark.  I am either totally all in or all out; just going through the motions.  This is especially true of my weight.  I am either losing a ton of weight or working on looking like Jabba the Hut in Star Wars.

So I am going to try and slow down a little and take things one step at a time.  I am going to try to be steady and consistent, especially in regards to my health and my weight.  For those of you that follow me, I was doing great through June of this year in regards to getting back in shape.  I had lost 40 pounds.  And then life happened.  And the busier I got, the more I slacked off of exercising, and the more I slacked off of exercising, the more I ate.  And the more I ate and didn't exercise, the more I weight I gained.  So now instead of losing 40 pounds, the grand total of weight loss is about 20 pounds.  In order to hit my goal weight by New Year's I have to lose .71 pounds per day.  Ouch!!

So I am ending this blog right now and heading to the gym to run 6 miles and lift weights and swim laps and then I will ride the stationary bike tonight!!   

And then the voice in my head starts saying, "Slow down.  Nice and steady Jeff, nice and steady!!"