To Truly Succeed, You Must Fail Well

When I was in the 6th grade, I tried out for the 7th and 8th grade boys basketball team.  In those days, K-6th attended one school, and the 7th and 8th graders went to another school.  It was the school's practice however to let 6th graders try out so that the coaches could observe upcoming talent and possibly put them on the team to groom them for junior high.  Very, very few 6th graders ever made the team but there was always an outside chance, so I decided to give it my best shot.  When the roster was announced after a week of tryouts, I was one of the few 6th graders to ever make the team.  By the time the first game was played, I was the first 6th grader in the history of the school to ever start on the 7th and 8th grade team.

I was very nervous at the start of our first game.  And then it happened.  I will never forget it as long as I live.  The game was started with a jump ball at center court.  As soon as the ball was tipped, I hustled to the ball, dribbled down court, stopped just outside of the free throw line, and sunk a basket.........in the opposing teams side.  2-0 we were behind in the first 10 seconds of the game.  All because I shot the ball in the wrong hoop.  I can't tell you how badly I wanted to run into the locker room and call it quits at that moment.

And then, thirty years later, I failed again big time.  This time I lost nearly everything I had.  One single decision led to me losing all my savings, my retirement, my house, and my dignity.  I walked away from that business deal with not even enough money to fill my vehicles gas tank two times.  I was a huge failure, lost my identity as a man, and was scared to death to wake up the next day for fear that somehow, someway things might get even worse.

If you are a driven, motivated person, I believe it is almost inevitable that you will experience failure at some level, to some degree.   But I believe, if you fail well, that it is possible to gain lessons in life and business that you would never learn otherwise and become better a better person for it.  In other words, learn to fail in a meaningful manner.

For example, failures can help you to understand other's situations better, appreciate how a person feels when experiencing failure, and help you to better inspire and lift others.  Sooner or later, someone around you will experience failure and the feelings of embarrassment and dread accompanied by it.  It may be the case that their failure is well-deserved and that they need "tough love" advice (and a kick in the butt).  On the other hand, anyone and everyone can be an "armchair critic" and be quick to humiliate those that fail.  This is the time that you can use your unique experiences of failure to encourage and inspire. You can make all the difference to someone by letting them know that you believe in them.

When I announced my resignation last week, one of the most rewarding things I heard from one of my team members was his expression of thanks for me helping, teaching, and trusting him.  I believe he will succeed after I leave, mostly because of his drive, passion, and pursuit of excellence, but also partly because of I have trusted him and encouraged him to rise above his personal and professional failures. 

And I was able to help him in a more meaningful manner because I understood his failures through experiencing failures of my own.

To truly succeed, you must learn to fail well.