A letter to my sons

To my two sons,

Thank you for a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday.  The holidays are always more joyful and meaningful when you are home.  Because I feel I never have enough time with you, I wanted to write down some thoughts that I think will apply whether you are ready to jump into the real world or whether you are just finding your way at school.

Competition - Competition is good and affords you the opportunity to push yourself beyond what you thought possible for you.  Whether on the track, playing a concert, or working at your career, you should never underestimate an opponent and always treat him with respect.  You may not respect the person or what he stands for, but respect the fact that he is your equal (for now).  When you win, do not be arrogant or cocky, and if you should lose, keep you head high and be proud of the fact that you gave your all.

Peers- Treat your peers and subordinates with respect and equality. Treat everyone with respect at the start, and take it away if they do not return it in kind. If you must play boss, do so fairly.  And be very particular about with whom you spend your time.

Strengths and Weaknesses- Identify your strengths, reinforce and develop them, and use them to your advantage. When dealing with an opponent, always deal from a position of strength. Identify your weaknesses and acknowledge them. Either correct them or work around them. But never use them as an excuse.


Self Esteem -How you feel about yourself always has a way of showing through. The way you handle yourself speaks volumes about you and often determines how others treat you.  But be careful you don’t cross the fine line between confidence and arrogance. And don't ever be shy and timid but humble.

Family - Always give family time and love, but most of all give of yourself.  I believe you can make up for lost time and the best way to do it is to take the time to give of yourself in love.

Job- I never thought I would be a "dirty laundry" guy, sell a service to shred paper, buy and sell property, or be a roofer.  However, if you look, you can always find pleasure in whatever it is that you do. This attitude will make even the lousiest task easier to do. Remember – depending upon your attitude you can even take pleasure out of waiting a table, pounding a nail, or going to practice. Whether it is because you did it fast, nearly perfect, or better than your opponent,  if you find something to turn the task into a game or a challenge, your job then becomes fun. I’d rather have fun the rest of my life – it sure beats working

Love you guys,

Dad

I Am Thankful For...

Yesterday was a nearly perfect Thanksgiving.  My boys are in town, my wife's meal was incredibly delicious, we had good conversation, and my family capped the night off with a movie at the theater. 

During some downtime, I looked at FB and Twitter to view friend's and family's posts.  I enjoyed seeing what people were posting.  Thankfulness was in the air.  People were thankful for our country, family, the military, friends, Thanksgiving meal, their pets, our freedom, etc.

As is tradition at our house, we go around the table and let each person say what they are thankful for after we pray.  When it came to my turn, I didn't have to think about what I am most thankful for.  I am thankful for the four years that I spent in a camper 250 miles from my family and friends in a location that I really didn't like.  More specifically, I am thankful for the lessons that I learned and the appreciation for the "normal" things that I gained during those four years.

Sometimes my stomach turns even now when I think about how lonely I was during that time.  Many times I would leave work around 5:00 p.m. and not hear or utter another word until I talked to my family before going to sleep. I often think about missing most of my youngest son's high school years ( I was gone during his four years at high school but spent time at cross country and track meets on the weekends).  I think about shutting off the water in late October (as required) and not having running water again until late March.  I remember getting sick in the middle of the night and having to walk 100 yards to the shower house through the snow at 3:00 a.m. and then spending the night lying on concrete because I was too sick to go back to my camper.  I remember going to bed with gloves on my hands and a hat on my head with two sleeping bags and three blankets over top of me just to stay warm.  I remember crying and shouting in anger at God because I couldn't believe I was in this situation.

And yes, without a doubt, this is the thing that I am most thankful for.  It helped open my eyes to how spoiled I am and how I used take normal everyday things, like running water, for granted.  It made me realize how important family is and how much I miss them when we are apart.  It made me thankful for how strong my wife is. 

And it made me thankful that God, in his infinite wisdom, would allow me to be put in that situation so that I could learn to be more thankful and appreciate the small things in life.

I hope and pray that you have a "camper" experience someday.

Duck Dynasty and Roofing

On November 1, 2011, I was fortunate enough to be hired by my brother-in-law to run his family-owned business.  I have run companies and divisions of companies throughout my career, however, there are certain aspects of running a family-owned business that I was not prepared for.  I thought that I cared about the companies that I had worked for in the past but I didn't understand the weight of the burden that I would feel for making things work well within the family business.  And the statistics don't give us a good chance either.  Only 3% of small businesses make it to the third generation.

Working in a family business is part of the reason that I am so drawn to a reality TV show called Duck Dynasty.  If you haven't had the pleasure of seeing the show, it is a reality series on A&E that shows the lives of the redneck Robertson family, who run and manage a family owned business that went from poverty to being mulch-millionaires due to the sales of their duck calls.

At the end of each show, the family gathers around Phil's table (the father) and they all say a prayer before eating a meal together.  During the show, things often go wrong.  Willie (CEO) is often frustrated.  Sometimes, arguments ensue.  However, at the end of the show, the family eats a meal together and Willie often offers some thoughts and wisdom that he has learned from the experience.

Common themes reoccur during Willie's summary of the events of the show such as forgiveness, caring, moving forward despite differences, trying to see another person's point of view, and acknowledging others ideas.

We all have a lot we could learn from the redneck Robertsons!

"Sleep No More"

One of the hottest plays right now is a theatrical "experience" titled Sleep No More.  The play is a new twist on an old play, Macbeth.  What is so interesting and intriguing about this play to me is that the audience does not go to the theater, sit down, and watch a play on stage.  Rather, they are free to interact and roam freely throughout a huge building, observing and participating at will.  But here is where the twist comes into play (no pun intended).  The audience members stand outside until the time that the play is to begin.  They are then taken to a nice plush lounge with the feel of a "speak easy" and served a mysterious drink.  Instructions are then given that everyone must wear a white mask that has an over-sized bird's beak on it and that no one is to utter a word while being encouraged that "riches follow the bold".  Then after being led through a dark tunnel for several minutes, the audience is released into a vast building with several rooms that are very dimly lit.  The rooms are both small and huge ranging from a bathroom, a bedroom, a huge forest, and an office space amongst other settings.  For twenty minutes people wander.  They can open drawers, they can relax in an easy chair, or explore in the forest. Then cast members start to appear amongst the audience and the play of Macbeth begins.  With no "prompters" or directions, the audience members are free to do as they please.  No rules, no judgements, no social mores (sound like moray) to follow.  People feel empowered, bold, sometimes rude, sometimes sexual, out of control, and sometimes afraid.  And they "act out" these feelings sometimes with their partners and sometimes with complete strangers.

I would love to go and participate in the experience of Sleep No More.  I love to be at the airport and observe people.  I love going to social gatherings and simply taking mental notes about people's behavior.  My wife would HATE going to this play.  She desperately needs control and without control in a setting with strangers, she would probably be near hysterics. 

But this whole mask thing and being anonymous and acting out with no rules or consequences has me thinking.  Yes, some people are more rude and mean than they would normally be during this play, some people are more sexual and uninhibited during this play, but it is reported that the vast majority of people still don't cross that line too far.  In fact some people gently and lovingly help the actors in the play by offering a towel or a drink.  But why?  I think it is because people act a certain way because they are expected to act a certain way according to societal rules and norms, according to where they are at any given place and time.

Interesting enough, I believe most people are "actors".  We act a certain way at work, another way at home, and a completely different way from Saturday night until Sunday morning when sitting at church service or mass.  Yes, I am guilty!

I think it is rare to find a person that is a true individualist and acts a certain way most of the time according to a set of principles, codes, or commandments.

How much does your mask cover?

Blogging Again

Hey, I'm back!! 

I have missed blogging for the past year.  I have missed putting my thoughts in writing and clearing my mind through that process.  But, I took a break because I needed to.  I changed jobs, moved to another state, sent my youngest to college, experienced a scare with my Granddad, witnessed the changing of America through a recent election, and am trying to change the culture, the attitude, and the daily operations of a 34 year old company.  And while I know that many of these experiences would have made for interesting blogs, I needed time to process, think, regroup, and fall asleep early from exhaustion!

The year before I wrote nearly every day.  I don't think I will do that again.  However, I will write 3-4 times a week.  I am also going to start blogging for my company, Showalter Roofing, Inc.  I hope to post written and video blogs on that site so I will pass that info along as I get rolling with that project.

So, let me tell you what is on my mind that I might be blogging about soon:

• I am growing a mustache for "Movember".  I look really stupid and don't grow facial hair very well.  However, Movember is a prostate cancer awareness campaign and that issue is very near and dear to my heart.
• I want a puppy.  But my other "puppies" must go to puppy heaven before I do such a stupid thing.  Maybe writing about it will bring me to my senses.
• Family is so important.  I sometimes wish that America and the world would experience a monumental crisis to force families to have to live and work together again to simply get back to the importance of family (but I want the crisis to last only 6 months)
• I hear about "girls night out" all the time so why don't we have more "guy" times.  I am glad to be a guy and want to do more "guy" things!!
• How has America changed since my childhood and my opinion of why it has changed.
• Stupid things people say and post on FB and why I am finally deleting them.
• What does it mean to live a meaningful life?
• Leadership
• Is Siri your best friend?
• Work Hard, Nap Hard - Mow a little grass, sip a little tea, take a little nap
• Christmas- Is it the best time of the year?
• What I am learning from Willie, Phil, and Si
• I want to hunt and why

Round two begins NOW!