There are things that I want to do differently in 2013 but I when I take a deeper look at things I want to do, it seems like most of them really don't matter much in the big scheme of things. And I put other things on the list because I am "supposed to", like reading through the bible or running a half marathon.
So, in reflection of this past year and looking forward to the next, I started to think about what really matters and what I should concentrate on in 2013. As I was reading, I came upon an article that I thought was very interesting and provided some clarity to me.
The article is as follows:
Bronnie Ware is an Australian nurse who spent several years caring for patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives. As many of her patients approached their final days, she would ask if they had regrets or things they would do differently.
Ware was so surprised by the phenomenal clarity of vision people gained at the end of their lives that she began documenting their responses.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
“This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.”
“Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.”
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
“Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.”
2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
“This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.”
1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
“This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it.”
This list contains nothing new to you or to me, but I believe it is always good to keep these things at the forefront of our lives. This list challenged me and I hope it stirred you a little and makes you pause for a minute to think about what changes can be made to enhance our lives in 2013.
I think it is ironic how seemingly small little choices that we make end up being regrets at the end of our lives. They seem so insignificant at first. Working a few hours later at the office. Forgetting to call, or even text our friends back. Keeping things to ourselves. Trying to keep up with the Jones.
However small and rational at the time, the wrong choices we make almost always will slowly but surely pull us away from the things that matter most.
