Papaw

My how life has changed since I last wrote on my blog! The Chicago Cubs won the World Series,we moved to another state, I started a 501c3, bought a car that I have always dreamt of owning, one of my sons got married to a wonderful woman, my wife and I live in a home that we love to come home to, and yet none of this compares to the single-most wonderful thing that could happen to an older man in the in the "Fall" of his life....... I became a Papaw to the most wonderful little boy you could ever imagine. Charlie the 7th is 10 months old now and brings more hope and joy to me than I can even express. His smile, his ornery little ways, his laugh, and the way that he is curious about everything brings joy to me every time I see him. So, the family name of "Charles" lives to see another generation. My grandad would be happy, and I know my father is thrilled. As the world seems to be going crazy with a war that is raging overseas, inflation that is soaring at a 40-year high, stock markets crashing, crooked politics constantly, and a culture that is straight out of the last days of Revelations, it is a gift from God to be able to stop and enjoy the innocence, simplicity, and hope for the future through spending time with a little one that knows me as "Papaw".

A Mile Wide and an Inch Deep

I am struggling lately.

Before you get worried and call the depression hotline, please know that I am fine.  However, with my 50th birthday closing in quickly, I have started thinking about a lot of things.  I know that they say that 50 is the new 40 or the new 30, but it doesn't feel that way to me.  I feel like it is harder and harder to ignore the fact that I am not young any longer and that "officially" the autumn season of my life has begun.

In a way, I am trying to make sense of my life and life in general.  I know that material things don't make you happy.  Yes, I wish I had more money because having money gives you more choices, but I know money doesn't make one happy.  And I will take the word of others that sex, drugs, rock 'n' roll, power, eating, and drinking don't ultimately fill the bill either.

So, I am left with very little choice but to conclude that the fullness of one's life comes down to relationships.  Personal, business, family, friends,and God; it all comes down to the
depth of those relationships that makes our lives full or empty.

And I must confess that I don't do relationships very well.  I think some things in my childhood made me steer clear of deep, meaningful relationships.  I have a ton of "friends" and get along with nearly everyone.  However, I don't have friends that I feel comfortable telling all of my deepest thoughts to and sharing all my "warts" with.  In fact, nearly all of my relationships are a mile wide and an inch deep.

Ironically, in many ways, I wish it was just the opposite.