How to Lead

Lately, I have been in conversation with good friends and family regarding business.  We've talked about the exciting things in business; the potential, how it feels when things are running well, what gets a person up in the morning and motivates them to do their best.

But we have also talked about the messy part of business; the rude customers, the people you just can't please, and the employee who is good but stirs it up and makes things difficult at times.

I just happen to be reading a book that tells how we should treat that specific employee.  Tony Dungy, in his book, Mentor Leader, wrote the following:

"One of the great object lessons in the Bible is found in John 13:3-8, right before the Last Supper, when Jesus washes the feet of the disciples:

      Jesus knew that the Father had given him authority over everything and that he had come from God and would return to God.  So he got up from the table , took off his robe, wrapped a towel around his waist, and poured water into a basin.  Then he began to wash the disciples' feet, and drying them with the towel he had around him.  When Jesus came to Simon Peter, Peter said to him, "Lord, are you going to wash my feet?"  Jesus replied," You don't understand now what I am doing, but someday you will."  "No", Peter protested, "you will never ever wash my feet!"  Jesus replied, "Unless I wash you, you wont belong to me."

So, in essence, Jesus was trying to change the mindset of the disciples to one of service.

Wash their feet.
Serve them.
Share the Good News.

"In our culture, what Jesus was doing would not be seen as a pathway to promotion or credit.  Yet, it's the  very path a mentor leader must take.  Humble servant leadership demonstrates to those you lead that you see them as valuable, and it's worth your time to serve them-not just when it's convenient, neat, and acceptable, but when it's timely, needed, and right.  Jesus, through His actions, showed us that servant leadership isn't theoretical lip service.  Instead, it's hands-on, get-yourself dirty, humble service,  In our day and age, with paved streets and closed-toe shoes, foot washing is no longer necessary.  But the principle is still valid.

What can you do in your organization to "wash the feet" of the people you lead?"

Here Comes the Judge

It is easy for me to be critical and to judge others.  Life would be so easy if everyone would just think and act like me (that's a joke folks).  I think I need to try to understand where people are coming from more so than I do now and be more caring and humble in how I approach others who disagree with me, my beliefs, and my opinions.  Who knows, I might learn something in the process and I might just be more pleasant to be around.

Matthew 7:1-6:

1. Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. 2. For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged.
3. And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? 4. How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? 5. Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.
6. Don’t waste what is holy on people who are unholy. Don’t throw your pearls to pigs! They will trample the pearls, then turn and attack you.

"It was something I experimented with in college"

I grew up in a very conservative, strict, Christian household. We attended church every Sunday morning, Sunday night, and Wednesdays, along with special services.  I never heard a swear word spoken in our house, and I know liquor or cigarettes were never used by my parents.  I applaud my parents.  They were great examples of living a clean, honorable lifestyle. And they provided a baseline to come back to through the years.

But when I went to college, I had a new found freedom and I strayed from the strictness that I was raised with.  I believe most 18-year olds do "test the waters" of freedom to some degree when they leave home.  But, I want to be very, very clear.  I have never used drugs and I have never had gay sex.  NEVER!

But that is not the situation with our president. 

We all know that he did drugs in college.  I applaud his honesty.  It is better than claiming that he didn't inhale.  But, speaking to the press after a LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bi-Sexual, and Transgender) fundraiser this week, Obama clarified his position on gay marriage.  "Gay rights was something that I experimented with in college...but it was just a phase.  We all go through phases like that, like my goth phase before that," he told fundraiser attendees.  He went on to say that he simply wanted to try out all forms of civil rights stances.  "After all, that's what college is for, right?" as he nervously clutched his wedding ring.

Obama had one final word to the press, "I support the state's rights to decide on this matter, and agree with laws legalizing marriage..."  Realizing that he had just stuck his foot in his mouth again, he said, "Did I mention how much I love football?"  (If I was gay I was be furious over his implied stereotype with this statement)

Wow!  My head is spinning as I read this but I think I just had a revelation.  Obama is not only our first half-black president, he is our first goth, bi-sexual president.  And I think I am starting to understand a few other things.  First, I am starting to understand why he has not released his college transcripts or health records, as every other modern-day president has done.  We may learn even more secrets that have been hidden from the public.  And secondly, with his curious attraction to and experimentation with men, I am starting to understand why he must have felt an attraction to Michelle.

"Hope" was a Great Campaign Slogan

Hope. 

Hope is good and it was the perfect message to send to a nation in 2008 that was experiencing a tough time.  We had been attacked on 9/11, the wars were not going according to plan, and the economy was slowing (due in part to Bush's increased spending).

But three years later, hope is not working as a governing policy.  Hope can only get you so far.  After all, we all have hope.  I hope that I can get out of Kentucky soon.  We all hope for a cure for cancer.  People hope to win the lottery.  And all good Tennesseans hope that Jake Locker will get the Titans back to a Super Bowl in the next 3 years.

But hope is only a belief rooted in faith.  I am not trying to diminish to importance of hope or faith.  Even God calls our attention to their importance.  But, in regards to national policy and how we are governed, hope alone doesn't work.

What we need more than anything right now is not hope but optimism.  Optimism is different from hope in that optimism is the belief and expectation that things will improve, if only you work for that improvement. 

"There's a joke President Reagan liked to tell that captures this spirit. One day a mother takes her son to a psychiatrist to see what could be done about the boy's extreme personality. It seemed that boy was too optimistic for his own good. So the psychiatrist led the boy into a room full of manure. The boy's face lit up and he immediately began digging through the manure, happy as can be. Shocked, the psychiatrist asked what the boy was doing. The boy looked up from his digging and replied: "With all this manure, there must be a pony in there somewhere!"

As his advisors would relate, President Reagan told this joke so frequently that it became a tagline of his entire presidency. Whenever something would go wrong, a staffer would repeat the punch line: "There must be a pony in there somewhere.

Like the boy looking for the pony, optimism is not a passive outlook. It takes action. Optimism contains within it an implied understanding: that the person who possesses it has real reason to believe that things will get better, meaning they are keenly aware of the world around them and possess a strong situational awareness. Their experience provides a track record of solving tough challenges using proven solutions."
( A Time for Choosing:Hope or Optimism by John Heubush/Forbes)

"Hope" was a great campaign slogan.  But now it is clear for nearly all to see that this president's version of hope doesn't provide optimism and give us real reason to believe that things will get better.

The only way to regain hope and optimism for this great country is to limit the current president and his administration to one term and then start to rebuild the future.

Mr. President, You're No Reagan

One more little blog about Obama's speech and then I will let it go. 

I was really aggravated when Obama used a Reagan quote during his speech.  The implication was that Reagan would be fighting for the same deal that Obama is fighting for.  When Obama quoted Reagan, he stated. " Would you rather reduce deficits and interest rates by raising revenue from those who are not now paying their fair share, or would you rather accept larger budget deficits, higher interest rates, and higher unemployment?  And I think I know your answer.”

The problem is that Americans have very, very short memories.  When Reagan used the quote, it was for a purpose that is almost 180 degrees opposite of what Obama is trying to do.  For a quick refresher, Reagan had just stepped into Office and was faced with a huge debacle left by the second most incompetent president in modern U.S. history, Jimmy Carter. 

In order to jump start the economy, with a democratically held Congress, Reagan proposed "trickle down economics".  The four pillars of Reagan's economic policy were:

1. Reduce Growth of Government spending.
2. Reduce Income Tax and Capital Gains Tax.
3. Reduce Government regulation.
4. Control the money supply to reduce inflation.

Reagan proposed and got passed a reduction in taxes from 70% to 50% and eventually down to 28% as a high level for all tax payers.  He went on to slash corporate taxes and the economy rebounded, reducing unemployment from 10.8% to 5.5% when he left office.  The federal deficit fell from 6% of GDP in 1983 to 2.9% of GDP.  The rate of growth in federal spending fell from 4% under Jimmy Carter to 2.5% under Ronald Reagan.

In contrast, under Obama, unemployment has risen from 7.8% in January 2009 to 10.1% by November 2009.  Numbers are reported at between 9.1% and 10.2% right now, but that doesn't count the people that have stopped looking for jobs.  The real number is between 15-17% unemployment. Foreclosures on housing are at a record high (32%), the housing market remains in decline, the deficit will exceed $1 trillion for every year of Obama’s term, the national debt is north of $14 trillion, markets are anxious and falling, and economic growth is at a dismal 1.8%, in other words, way behind inflation rates and going backwards.

So, as you listen to the hollow rantings from a community activist turned president, don't be fooled. The quote Obama used from Reagan in his last speech was misused and twisted.

Nice try Obama!  But Mr. President, you're no Reagan!

Political Smoke and Mirrors

I watched Obama last night make yet another predictable speech in which he blamed the Republicans, the previous administrations, and everyone but himself for the debacle that we are in.  Barry would like you to forget that the previous administration was $458 billion in debt while in just two years The Great Narcissist has increased that debt to $1.65 trillion.  Obama has increased the debt more in two years than the total debt we accumulated from George Washington to George Bush, but we are not supposed to place any blame on Obama. 

I would like to see a new plan presented by Obama.  I say a new plan because he submitted a budget in April that was unanimously rejected by all Democrats and Republicans alike by a vote of 97-0.  So he has yet to provide a solution to address our current national debt crisis, but instead continues to insist on historical tax hikes, even during this bad economic downturn.

In reality, the leadership of both parties of Congress have done nothing to reduce our debt, but rather are proposing to increase our debt.  All of the "deals" that are on the table right now continue national spending with zero cuts and accrue more debt ---at least $7 trillion more over the next 10 years.  Serious, meaningful spending cuts, not fuzzy math or D.C. accounting tricks, need to be at the core of this debate.  Cut, Cap, and Balance is a good place to start, but real change needs to continue with a Balanced Budget Amendment.

It time for Obama to stop threatening Americans with the possibility of defaulting on our debt. We have enough money coming in to pay out Social Security checks, pay the military, pay for necessary services such as firefighters and cops, and pay the interest on our debt.

Political scare tactics and smoke-and-mirror ‘deals’ won’t solve our debt problem, and in fact will likely cause a larger one by forcing the downgrading of our debt rating, which I believe will happen if we do not cut at least $4 trillion. This is irresponsible by all parties.

Hey Obama, it’s time for real leadership to protect our nation’s fiscal security.

It’s time to balance our budget!

Tomatoes

We all had the question on a test in school that asked if a tomato is a fruit or vegetable.  Strange thing is this question went all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court.  In that case, the Justices declared that the tomato is a vegetable and not a fruit.  The reason that this craziness went all the way to the Supreme Court was because in the 1880's, US tariff laws imposed a duty on vegetables and not on fruits.  The common sense approach used for the decision to declare a tomato as a fruit was that tomatoes aren't eaten as desserts, therefore they couldn't be a fruit. 

Another controversy surroundng the tomato occurred when it was first introduced into the United States during the time that Lincoln was president.  At that time, tomatoes were considered to be poisonous because they are bright red in color.  It is said that the enemies of Lincoln tried to poison him by giving him tomatoes.  Instead, the more tomatoes he ate, the healthier he became.  Who knows if the story has merit or not?

Today we know that tomatoes are a great source of vitamin C.  Time  magazine listed tomatoes as one of the ten best foods for cancer prevention.  And there is something special about a fresh, garden-grown tomato.  So, does it really matter whether a tomato is a fruit or a vegetable?  Of course not! 

It seems strange to us today that people would get so caught up in such a trivial thing about whether or not a tomato is a fruit or vegetable.  But it seems like we often get caught up in similarly trivial situations in our life.  We all spend too much time concerning ourselves with things that don't really matter when all we should be doing is enjoying the tomato.

What's $2,000,000,000,000 Between Old Friends

In case you are not used to reading the kind of numbers that the title references, it is $2 trillion dollars.  It's still hard for me to grasp trillions.  Growing up, the only time I heard the word trillion mentioned was when I went to the planetarium and tour guides talked about how far stars are from earth.  Today, politicians throw a trillion dollars around like it is commonplace.

And on the early Sunday morning political beltway tv shows, cries for compromise were heard over and over and over.  Guests and hosts alike were astounded that the Republican party is drawing a hard line in the sand and, so far, seemingly standing firm on cutting spending.  Examples were discussed such as Abraham Lincoln admiring Henry Clay for his ability to compromise and make both sides happy.  It was a strange comparison to me in that I am confident that issues were different in the 1860's.  And I remember reading about a big war between the states that Lincoln didn't compromise on.

So why not compromise with the debt ceiling and spending issue? 

First of all, the leftist, Statist, liberals in this country have not compromised for decades and decades.  It seems the debt ceiling is always raised with promises to cut spending, but the "spending cuts" part of the deal never happens.  The reason that spending cuts never happen is because of the fuzzy math that liberals use.  For example, if I asked my wife to work with me to cut the budget, most of us would assume that would mean the monthly budget would be less the following month.  However, if I did math like is used in Washington, my budget could grow from $5000 to $5200 the following month.  How?  Well, Dena would come back to me after working on our budget and say something like, " We projected an increase for the following month and we would have spent $5500, so I cut the projection by $300 and saved us $200."  The key words here are "projected an increase" and that is why our debt continues to rise and spending is never really cut.

Secondly, there is an amount that is being bantered about in Congress right now for a spending cut.  That amount is projected to be cut is forecast over the next 10 years.  The same equal amount that is being considered to be cut is the amount that is spent every 10 minutes due to Obama's increased spending.  Ten years to cut 10 minutes worth of spending?  It doesn't seem like much of a compromise on the Democrat's side to me. 

Last of all, the dirty little secret that the media won't talk about and that spineless RINO's won't mention is that if we raise the debt ceiling and don't have considerable spending cuts, "loaner" nations will most likely see our political system as being completely broken and will downgrade our dollar.  When the dollar is downgraded, it will affect all of us because America's local banks hold the most U.S currency in the world.  In other words, your IRA, your 401K, and your savings will all be affected.

I challenge all of you to do something about this issue.  Write your Congressman and tell them to hold firm and demand significant, meaningful spending cuts.  Enough is enough. 

 http://www.contactingthecongress.org/

http://www.senate.gov/general/contact_information/senators_cfm.cfm

My Usual Sunday Morning Sermon Blog

Often times I look to the future.  I like to plan.  I like to be visionary.  But I think that it is good to sometimes stop and "smell the roses".  To be in the here and now.  And that is hard for me.  I find myself thinking about Josh going to college next year.  I think about what Spencer will be doing in a few years when he graduates from Belmont.  I like to set goals and strive to reach them.

I think Christians are the same in many ways.  There always seems to be a push to talk about the end.  Armageddon.  And the end times.  And heaven.  I don't think there is anything wrong with thinking about all these things.  After all, the Christians main goal is to go to heaven.  But, I think that if you think about how Jesus spent his time on this earth, you will realize that he took time to be in the present.

For example, how many times do we read about Jesus stopping to help people as he traveled from city to city.  It seems like he was always stopping along the way to tend to someone's immediate needs.  Even when He was looking ahead to wherever He was traveling, He never lost sight of what was important right before His eyes in real time.  Jesus stopped to heal the blind man. He stopped and spoke to Zacchaeus and then went to his house to have a meal with him.  Jesus stopped to help a Samaritan woman at the well. 

"Time and time again, Jesus reminds us that the present is where we need to spend our time in order to better the people around us and help those along the way.  All too often, we lose sight of those lessons from Jesus and focus to completely on the goals and outcomes we expect to see in the future that we cast all else aside in the headlong pursuit of them."

What makes a Leader?

These days there is a lot of talk politically about leadership or lack thereof.  But leadership affects all aspects of our life, not just politically.  And I am convinced that at some point in nearly everyone's life they will be required to show leadership, whether as a politician, a coach, a parent, or a spouse.  Leaders can be janitors, stay-at-home moms, the blue collar worker, a high powered executive, or the captain of a firehouse.  I believe leaders are not born, leaders are formed.  So what is leadership and how can we be effective as leaders at home, in the workplace, and in our communities?  Believe me, I am not an expert, but I do have a few ideas.

There are certainly some stereotypical type of words that come into play when talking about leadership but I think they are at the pinnacle of leadership.  Things like helping to build character, and teaching attitudes and behaviors while practicing them, and striving to build a legacy for future generations to model are all important aspects of leadership.  Things also come into play like encouraging, guiding, and inspiring those around you.  

I read a lot.  But I don't think that reading about how to lead gets the job done.  And I don't think you can sit in the big corner office and discuss theories and get the job done.  Eventually, I believe you have to wade into the muck and get dirty and work with individuals. 

I believe that working with individuals to help them develop their strengths is what a leader does.  Teaching skills such as teaching employees to be proactive about meeting others' needs so they can better support an organization is what leading is about.  Successful leaders make the people they lead better at what they do and ultimately help them be better people.

And last but not least, leadership is best demonstrated when the individual that is being led believes that the leader has a genuine concern for their development and success.  Those we lead will be more receptive if they believe we genuinely want them to succeed.

Will you make an intentional effort to lead today?

"There will always be some in the land who are poor"

As many of you know, I taught some freshman boys at church last year.  It was often heartbreaking because they would come to class hungry.  I felt badly and wanted the boys to be attentive in class so I bought pizzas almost every week.  And then I started to notice something that I thought was odd.  When class was over and it was time to go home, I started to find that these same boys who couldn't eat during the day because their parents were so poor were calling their parents for rides home on phones that are more expensive than my Blackberry.  So I started doing a little research and found some interesting bits of info.

First of all, let me say that I can get conflicted on this issue of helping the poor and what constitutes someone really needing help and what is just pure laziness looking for a hand-out.  In a study sure to cause new cries of "you heartless idiots!" from the Left, there is a new, clearer picture of the living standards of the poor in America.  As I read this paper I was torn between two emotions: anger and concern.  Anger that Americans have their emotions so completely manipulated by Government and advocates who are selling the worst poverty cases as the norm.  And concern because I am afraid some will use this data to forget about the worst poverty cases.  In a perfect world, assistance for the poor would all come from private charity. The link between donor and donee is closer, and less likely to be abused.  But in the absence of a perfect world, the most shocking part of this entire report pertains to what President Obama did last year by changing the way poverty is measured.

If you are a regular follower of this blog you know that I am not a fan of the current president.  But this little shell game may be a new low, even for Obama.  By changing the definition of what "poor" is in our country, by exaggerating and providing misinformation about poverty, the real poverty issues are being swept under the rug.  Amongst other things, misinformation stifles the development of well-targeted, effective programs that are working to reduce the problem.  In other words, for the exchange of political power, Obama is willing to preach about helping the poor while, in effect, making the problem worse.

All of my life I have had a sense that the poor live under bridges in cardboard boxes and beg on the street corners.  The U.S. Census Bureau reports that there are 30 million Americans living in poverty.  But in fact, the bureau's definition of poverty differs dramatically from that held by most Americans.  "In fact, other government surveys show that most of the persons whom the government defines as "in poverty" are not poor in any ordinary sense of the term." The actual living conditions of America’s poor are far different from my mental images. In 2005, the typical household defined as poor by the government had a car and air conditioning. For entertainment, the household had two color televisions, cable or satellite TV, a DVD player, and a VCR. If there were children, especially boys, in the home, the family had a game system, such as an Xbox or PlayStation. In the kitchen, the household had a refrigerator, an oven and stove, and a microwave. Other household conveniences included a clothes washer, a clothes dryer, ceiling fans, a cordless phone, and a coffee maker.  An astounding 2.5% of "poor" people had jacuzzis.  The home of the typical poor family was not overcrowded and was in good repair. The family was able to obtain medical care when needed. By its own report, the family was not hungry and had sufficient funds during the past year to meet all essential needs.  As scholar James Q. Wilson has stated, “The poorest Americans today live a better life than all but the richest persons a hundred years ago.”

.

Of course, to the families that are truly poor and/or experiencing problems in making ends meet, it make no difference that most  "poor" families are relatively OK  "To a family that has lost their home and is living in a homeless shelter, the fact that only 0.5 percent of families shared this experience in 2009 is no comfort. The distress and fear for the future that the family experiences are real and devastating. Public policy must deal with that distress. However, accurate information about the extent and severity of social problems is imperative for the development of effective public policy.

Obviously, as I have demonstrated in the previous paragraph, there is a vast gap between poverty as understood by the American public and poverty as currently measured by the government. Sadly, President Barack Obama plans to make this situation worse by creating a new “poverty” measure that deliberately severs all connection between “poverty” and actual deprivation. This new measure will serve as a propaganda tool in Obama’s endless quest to “spread the wealth” and will eventually displace the current poverty measure.

Under the new measure, a family will be judged poor if its income falls below certain specified income thresholds or standards. There is nothing new in this, but unlike the current poverty income standards, the new income thresholds will have a built-in escalator clause. They will rise automatically in direct proportion to any rise in the living standards of the average American.

The current poverty measure counts (albeit inaccurately) absolute purchasing power (how much meat and potatoes a person can buy). The new measure will count comparative purchasing power (how much meat and potatoes a person can buy relative to other people). As the nation becomes wealthier, the poverty standards will increase in proportion.

In other words, Obama will employ a statistical trick to give a new meaning to the saying that “the poor will always be with you.”

The new poverty measure will produce very odd results. For example, if the real income of every single American were to triple magically overnight, the new poverty measure would show no drop in poverty because the poverty income standards would also triple. Under the Obama system, poverty can be reduced only if the incomes of the “poor” are rising faster than the incomes of everyone else. Another paradox of the new poverty measure is that countries such as Bangladesh and Albania will have lower poverty rates than the U.S.—even though the actual living conditions in those countries are extremely low—simply because they have narrower distribution of incomes, albeit very low incomes.

According to Obama’s measure, economic growth has no impact on poverty. Since the beginning of the 20th century, the incomes of nearly all Americans have increased sevenfold after adjusting for inflation. However, from Obama’s perspective, this increase in real incomes had no effect on poverty because the incomes of those at the bottom of the income distribution did not rise faster than the incomes of those in the middle.

In plain English, Obama’s new poverty-measure system will measure income “inequality,” not “poverty.” But he cannot call it an inequality index because the American voter is not willing to support massive welfare increases, soaring deficits, and tax increases just to equalize incomes. However, if the goal of income leveling is camouflaged as a desperate struggle against poverty, malnutrition, hunger, and dire deprivation, then the political prospects improve.  Again, as I stated before, Obama is willing to close his eyes to the real problems of poverty for the gain of political power.

The new measure is a public relations Trojan horse, smuggling in a “spread-the-wealth” agenda under the disguise of fighting significant material deprivation—a condition that is already rare in American society.

Poverty as traditionally defined by the Census Bureau has little connection with poverty as understood by the average American. The new Obama poverty measure will stretch this gap, artificially swelling the number of poor Americans and severing any link between the government’s concept of poverty and even modest deprivation. It will make grappling with the real deprivation that does exist even more difficult."

So, what is the common man to do? 

First, I believe we should all be informed as to what the truth is about "poverty" and how the numbers are being manipulated by Obama in order to spread "doom and gloom" and get his "spread the wealth" policies passed.  And then pass the information along. 

Secondly, I think that we must do our level best to determine who is truly poor and "Give generously to the poor, not grudgingly, for the Lord your God will bless you in everything you do.  There will always be some in the land who are poor." 

(Large portions of information for this blog were provided by Heritage)

Recharging

Honestly, I just think I am worn out and too tired to go after it right now.  I could write about the debt ceiling debacle, Obama's gaffes, the economy, or impending war between Isreal and Palestine.  But tonight, I really can't muster the fortitude to fight the fight.  And for me, there were other, more important things to do.

Instead of researching and writing, I spent some time with my son and his buddies.  I was sitting at the picnic table with them and talking about what they want to do with their futures.  It was fun, interesting, and enjoyable just to sit back and enjoy life for even just a few brief moments.  It was good to have some company in Kentucky.  It was good just to be together.

So for now, I am going to listen to the thunder roll.  I am going to just relax and re-charge.  Tomorrow is another day.

A Real Campfire Chronicle

As I write this blog (Monday night, July 18th at 11:00 p.m.), I am sitting in the woods preparing to sleep out under the stars. I am going to try my outdoor skills for three nights.  It's not like I am really roughing it in the middle of nowhere, but the feeling is definitely different than going in at night to a nice air-conditioned house, turning on the TV and sipping a cold beverage while sitting in your favorite chair.

Instead, I have chosen to sleep by a fire under the stars with one blanket.  My computer screen happens to be filling up with bugs and I am sweating like I am in the shower (I have changed clothes once already) due to the 90 plus degree temperature and nearly 95% humidity. 

My senses become very heightened.  I hear the crickets, the cicadas, a distant cow bellowing across the lake, and realize just how completely dark it is without the stars in the sky.  And every little things that goes bang in the dark gets my attention too.

Doing this crazy kind of things makes me realize how easy we have it.  Part of doing this for me is just about setting a goal and conquering it.  I like the challenge.  I also like thinking about what it must have been like for guys that we read about like David who tended sheep out in the wilderness when he was just a child.  I think about when Andrew Jackson was the president and traveled the Natchez Trace from Washington D.C. to New Orleans.  I like to think about my granddad living in a tent for a year and a half when he was a child because his father's house burned down.  I like to think about Abraham Lincoln traveling the prairie as a young Illinois Senator.

Maybe this sounds crazy to you but there is something about doing this that feels good to me.  It makes me appreciate the simple things we have.  It makes me feel connected.  I feel aware of my surroundings.  And it makes me feel like I can be disciplined to set a goal and stick to it.

Now tomorrow I may have another story to tell but tonight I am content. And this truly is a Campfire Chronicle.

Pulling the String

I think I may have written about this fable before but it bears repeating.

I once read a story about a man that could pull a magic string and skip forward any time that he was facing adversity or facing an unpleasant situation.  When his children were young and teething, he pulled the string, and much to his surprise and relief, he skipped forwards a few years and the teething stage was over.  When the pressure mounted at work, he pulled the string and he got the same result.  When he would argue with his wife, he would pull the string, and forward into time he would go.  He felt he was so blessed.  Over the years, he pulled the string over and over and over and over.  And suddenly, he realized that he was an old man, laying on his death bed.  Last rites were being given and he was asked if he had any last wishes.  "Yes" the man whispered, "I want to go back in time and live my life.  I missed so much by taking the easy road." 

I can't tell you how many times I have wanted a magic string to pull.  I can't begin to tell you how many times I thought I was doing something good that turned out bad, unfortunately most of the time with my family.  It seems that way more often than I would like.  I feel like I am trying to help, to give advice and provide wisdom, to set high expectations, to help people, and then the opposite seems to happen and either the other person gets hurt, or I get hurt, or both.

Yes, I still want to pull a string.  Yes, I wish I could always do a great job.  But the truth is I can't.  And I do have insecurities as much as I hate to admit it.  I want my family to succeed and to follow their passions, but in trying so hard to help them, sometimes I screw up. 
As I get older, I want to be strong and disciplined and thoughtful and bring peace instead of chaos to situations.  Most times I get it right.  Sometimes, I bring my insecurities to the situation and use shame, and ridicule, and guilt to make myself seem right, and I get it wrong.

I am sorry Joshy.  I am sorry Allie.  I am sorry Dena.  I think I had the right message.  Ultimately, I presented it wrong.

I don't have a string to pull.  Hopefully, I learn from my last mess up and time can heal your wounds.

Elvis Has Left the Building

As of today, I will no longer be a Facebook member.  I am de-activating my account.  I think I will use it for business on a business account, but I don't want to be a part of the FB community any longer.

There are a lot of things that I enjoy about Facebook.  I have enjoyed re-acquainting with old friends.  I have been able to communicate often with the group that I used to mentor, and I have been able to stay in touch through pictures with close friends.

On the other hand, most of the time Facebook drives me crazy.  For example, my wife has a friend that is too optimistic.  Her friend is an adult but yet posts the most immature, rose-colored crap I have ever read.  It's like she is in a competition to outperform the world.  A friend of Spencer's writes posts that are about feces on one day and then posts a scripture verse the next.  I don't respect him or his religion any longer.  I also don't care what people eat for lunch, and I don't care if you are bored.  Maybe, it's just me.

But yesterday is the real reason that I am getting off Facebook.  My son posted a comment that used the letters "FML" at the end of his post.  For those of you that don't know, "FML" stands for "F_ _ _ my life."  I was very disappointed.  I didn't understand because I have never heard him use that type of language. Please understand that I am not saying I haven't used language and said things that I shouldn't have and regret, but most of the time I have used that type of language in the heat of the moment; when I am angry (and I still regret it).  Per my son, this was a post that was supposed to be funny.  So I called Josh home to discuss the matter, to let him know that I was serious about him not doing that anymore and to find out why he would use language like that so cavalierly, so easily, for fun.

When he got home, my son explained that he had not written the post.  He told me his girlfriend had written the post. He said he was writing things on her FB account.  It is a game that teens play.  And I told him that I was disappointed in her too.  Josh still couldn't understand because to him, they were just letters, the words weren't used.  I told him that it doesn't matter.  It's like KFC.  Even though they are just letters, you know KFC stands for Kentucky Fried Chicken.

I expect more from Josh and I want him to take a stand.  I want him to have higher standards than the average teenager.  Just because teens use drugs, I don't want him to use drugs.  Just because teens have sex, I don't want him to have sex, just because teens write crap on their FB posts, I don't want him to do the same.  It personally reflects on him and his reputation.  I tried to explain to my 17-year old that his reputation is everything.  And his reputation should be built on character and that he should have higher standards for himself, just like he does in track.

Throughout this process, I got too angry.  Dena and I argued because she disagrees with me.  For some reason, she sees the FB posting as just a little game.  And in the process, I hurt relationships across the board.  My understanding is that Allie's parents don't understand my stance.  I sincerely hope this doesn't affect the future.  My wife disagrees with me and I know it will be strained at our house for weeks. (Kentucky camper here I come)

And I know this ordeal has affected Allie.  In the midst of my disagreement with Josh, Allie called and left a message.  She apologized and said that she hoped this didn't affect my view of her.  Later, I asked her to come over to the house with Josh so that I could talk to them in person.  And she was sad.  And cried a little.  And it broke my heart. 

So Allie, if you are still reading this blog, please know that I have the utmost respect for you.  When I was 17, I would not have had the guts to call an adult like you did.  You are a wonderful young lady that adds a bright smile to this house when you come over. I hope in the future you will feel welcome again because you are.  And Mr. Laughary, I know you are proud of your daughter.  You should be.  I intended this to be more about Josh and his leadership and Allie got included in the process.  For that, I apologize.

As far as Facebook is concerned, Elvis has left the building!

L.O.L.

Last night, I was able to have some dialogue with a total stranger on FaceBook. I enjoyed it.  We both had differing opinions but our conversation was civil and respectful. Unfortunately for him, he was wrong!

One of my old neighbors posted, "The fact that we are here today to debate raising America’s debt limit is a sign of leadership failure. ... Leadership means that “the buck stops here.” Instead, Washington is shifting the burden of bad choices today onto the backs of our children and grandchildren. America has a debt problem and a failure of leadership. Americans deserve better." --Senator Barack Obama 3/20/2006

A guy replied, "oh yeah, the Republicans will save us. Oh wait, it was a Republican that drove the economy in to the ground, got us in to two wars that we obviously need to be in."

I really couldn't let this one go. And I didn't even agree with Bush's policies toward the end of his administration.

I get so tired of the "Blame Bush" mantra from the Left.  It is so old and so predictable.  So I replied, " Glad the wars were brought up. If Barry's base would do their homework they would know according to the Congressional Research Service, Afghanistan will still cost $113.7 billion compared to the $43.5 billion spent in 2008, President Bush’s last year. Iraq will be much cheaper than before, but this decline was already in the works. In late 2008, President Bush signed the Status of Forces Agreement, setting the Iraq draw down in motion. If anything, Obama has slowed down the withdrawal and now will keep the US there way past 2011. Meanwhile, the "stepped-up" war in Afghanistan has offset much of the savings we could have expected in Iraq.

And this is just the financial cost. Last year 559 U.S. troops died in Iraq and Afghanistan — significantly more than the 469 who died during Bush’s final year in office." 

My point is this. As a senator and presidential candidate, Barack Obama criticized President Bush’s war policies. But instead of changing course, President Obama has tripled down in Afghanistan, widened the war into Pakistan, multiplied the drone attacks, bombed Yemen and Somalia and started an undeclared NATO war in Libya.  

Just another example of Obama's L.O.L.....Lack of Leadership.
Another epic fail for this Administration!

We don't need increased taxes, we need more taxpayers!

The worst thing our government can do at this moment in time is to raise the debt ceiling without substantial, meaningful cuts in spending.  Cuts in spending will hurt, and some people won't be happy, but it beats the heck out of avoiding the problem.  What happens if we raise the debt ceiling without substantial cuts?  Answer: The world will realize that America is still borrowing more than it can pay back and and that we have no plan to make amends.  The guys that rate our monetary strength then have no choice but to downgrade our rating.  The rest of the world (especially the Chinese) will then most likely call our debts, others won't lend money to the U.S. any longer, and then we will have a real catastrophe on our hands because then we have absolutely no options left in our bag of tricks.  Literally, our economy could fall like a house of cards overnight due to the de-valuation of our dollar.  

I am becoming a huge Marco Rubio fan.  He recently stated," The debt limit is a symptom. It's not our problem. The core problem is our debt and the fact that our government borrows 40¢ out of every dollar and has no idea how it's gonna pay it back; and that's a combination of spending -- we just spend way too much as government -- and loss of revenues."   By loss of revenue, Rubio means that too many people are out of work and not paying taxes. 

The solution again is simple.  The U.S. needs a combination of fiscal discipline with spending cuts and a balanced budget amendment and some type of pro-growth measures that get people back to work immediately.  These workers will pay taxes, adding revenue to government so that government can use that revenue not to grow government, but to pay down the debt and put us on a sustainable path.

Obama has an alternative plan.  It's the budget that he offered earlier this year.  Instead of reducing the debt, his plan actually increased it dramatically while also increasing taxes.  This plan was so preposterous that not a single Democrat voted in favor of his budget.  Not one.

So the bottom line is that the president is either trying to destroy the United States of America or he is simply incompetent.

It is time that the conservatives on the Hill do lead and say no to any tax increases and demand substantial cuts. 

We need more tax payers!!!!!

Living in the Desert

My favorite vacations when I was young were the vacations we would take out West.  I loved the different scenery from the mountains, to the plains, to the incredible rock formations, and natural wonders such as the Grand Canyon and Mt. St Helens. 

But we also went through the desert.  At first, I was intimidated because all I knew about the desert was what I experienced from the TV watching Gunsmoke with my granddad.  The desert was where people died.  It was hot, dry, unforgiving.  Indians always lured the cowboys into the desert before finishing them off.  At night, the moon plays tricks with your eyes in the desert.  Things look totally different than they do in the daytime.  It was where coyotes howled at the moon in the middle of the night when little kids were in the outhouse! (personal story)

But after a few vacations out West, I learned that the desert was fascinating.  It was full of life.  All kinds of animals and creatures and plants could be found in the desert.  It was beautiful in it's own way.  And on the way out West, the desert always lead to my favorite part.......the mountains.

I think life is a lot like a desert.  It can be scary.  It can be intimidating.  It is easy to be afraid.  Things don't appear to be what they really are.  But, if we learn to face our fears and face the unknown head on, the mountains usually appear and the reward makes it worth the journey through the desert.



The Cat's in the Cradle

In 1974, Harry Chapin had a #1 hit song titled The Cat's in the Cradle.  The folk rock song is about a father who is too busy to spend time with his son, although his son constantly asks his dad to join him in some childhood activities.  The response from the father is that he doesn't have time right now but they will play together someday.  The boy continues to admire his father even though his father doesn't spend time with him.  Then the twist at the end of the song is that the son grows up and the father, almost certainly slowed down by age and wisdom, asks his son to spend some time together.....and the son doesn't have time for his father because he has become too busy.  The father then reflects that they are both alike, saying "my boy was just like me".  I learned the song in the District 50 mini-singers (2nd and 3rd grade) to sing for a concert.  And I drove my dad crazy.  I remember him telling me to stop singing the song in the because I would sing it over and over and over. 

This past weekend, I thought of the song for the first time in years.  My son, Spencer, moved out of the house and into his first off-campus apartment.  So many things had to be done and purchased.  It's amazing all of the little things that we use on a daily basis that we take for granted that had to be purchased.

All day was bittersweet to me.  I was realizing that the chances are very good that Spencer will be a "guest only" from this time on in our home; only visiting for holidays and special occasions (and an occasional free meal when cash is low).  And it should be that way.  I was happy because we raised our boys to learn to live on their own and to become productive members of society. 

But the day was also somewhat sad because this was definitely a "marker" day.  It was a day that signaled a real change, not just a change where Spencer goes away to college and comes home for all his breaks and holidays and summer.  It was a day that marked the time that Spencer moved out and may not come back again to live.  And I started to wonder if I had done enough for Spencer.  Did I give him the opportunities that will allow him to pursue his passions? Did I support him well enough emotionally? Did I apologize enough when I screwed up?  Did I screw up too much?  I am sure every parent has gone through the same thing.

The lyrics of the song The Cat's in the Cradle scare me to death.  I hope and pray that I made enough time for Spencer while he was growing up that he will make time for me as time goes by.



Hoping for a Change

Unemployment is on the minds of a lot of people lately.  Obama has been making promises about unemployment and blaming the Bush administration for too long.  If history is any indicator, there has been enough time for the economy to recover from major problems.  Remember Carter?  Reagan, due to a policy of decreased taxes and lowered spending, dropped the unemployment rate from 10.8 percent to 7.5 percent in 20 months.  In contrast, Obama has raised the unemployment rate from 8.2% to 9.2% in the same time frame.  So what is going on? Why is the economy faltering and the unemployment rate so high?

The answer is simple.  We have President Obama’s big-spending economic policies to thank for slowing the pace of recovery.  House Budget Committee Chairman Paul Ryan (R-WI) explains how the President’s debt-laden reliance on Keynesian interventions in the economy have helped put the U.S. economy in its current state: "Investors and businesses make decisions on a forward-looking basis.  They know that today’s large debt levels are simply tomorrow’s tax hikes, interest rate increases, or inflation – and they act accordingly."  In other words, they don't act.  They don't hire.  If you add in the debt ceiling issue, the President's proposed tax hikes, Obamacare, and his constant barrage to businesses such as EPA over-regulation and the NLRB overreaching policies, it is not hard to figure out why the growth rate and job creation are failing under this Administration.

So what needs to happen to get America's economic house in order?  First, Congress needs to repeal Obamacare and it's employer mandates and tax increases.  Next, we need to get a handle on the EPA, stop ridiculous, unwarranted lawsuits, expand trade agreements and make them fair, let our oil companies produce oil, cut spending, and stop the incredibly high tax increases imposed both on the individual and to businesses.

Someone needs to tell Obama that is it way past time to stop referring to the failed economic policies of the past.  It is time to stop the flawed philosophy of relying on the government and let the private sector rise to the occasion as it always has.  It is time for Obama to stop being so concerned with the failed economic policies of the past and be more concerned about his own failed policies.

It is time for a new direction.  It is time to have hope for a change.

An America whose Future is Greater than its Past

Some people inspire us to be better.  Abraham Lincoln.  Lou Gehrig.  Martin Luther King.  Todd Beamer. Ronald Reagan.  Jackie Robinson. Harriet Tubman.  Neil Armstrong.  John F. Kennedy.  Lance Armstrong.  These people have inspired us through various means.  Some for their attitude.  Some for their work-ethic.  Some for their courage.  Some for their values.

Not too long ago, I passed the 200 mark for number of blogs written this year.  So I went back and read some of what I had written.  And I noticed that lately, some of my blogs have become more pessimistic and not hopeful about our future.  So, I started to do some research and there are several examples of people that are inspiring us to be better, even today.

I don't want to focus on politics as much as I do.  However, with the current Obama Administration determined on taking away our liberties, it is hard not to be involved and aware of politics at the moment.  With sweeping reforms on so many things such as health care and cap and trade, it is encouraging and hopeful to know that we have a few young freshman in Congress that are starting to make their mark.  One of the brightest up and coming stars in my opinion is Marco Rubio.  In his first floor speech on Jun 14th, Rubio said the following:

"I grew up in the 1980s, a time when it was morning in America. Yet even then, we faced a war on drugs, we lost Marines in Beirut and Astronauts on the Challenger. We faced a devastating oil spill in Alaska and a terrifying new disease called AIDS.
Through challenges and triumphs, the 20th century was the American century.  A century where American political, economic and cultural exceptionalism made the world a more prosperous and peaceful place.
Now we find ourselves in a new century. And there is a growing sense that for America, things will never be the same. That maybe, this new century will belong to someone else.
Indeed, we do stand now at a turning point in our history. One where there are only two ways forward for us. We will either bring on another American century, or we are doomed to witness America’s decline.
A new American century is within our reach.
There is nothing wrong with our people. Americans haven’t forgotten how to start a business. They haven’t run out of good ideas.
We Americans are as great as we have ever been. But our government is broken. And it is keeping us from doing what we have done better than anyone in the world for over a century: Create jobs.
If we here in Washington could just find agreement on a plan to start getting our debt under control, if we could just make our tax code simpler and more predictable, and if we could just get the government to ease up on some of these onerous regulations, the American people will take care of the rest.
If this government will do its part, this generation of Americans is ready to theirs. They will give us a prosperous, upwardly mobile economy. One where our children will invent, build and sell things to a world where more people than ever before can afford to buy them.
If we can give America a government that lives within its means, the American economy will give us a government whose means are considerable. A government that can afford to pay for the things a government should do, because it does not waste money on things it should not do.
If we can deliver on a few simple but important things, we have the chance to achieve something that is hard to imagine is even possible. An America whose future will be greater than its past."

As I read this speech, I thought of JFK and Reagan.  I do believe there is hope.  I do believe we can overcome the obstacles that have been put in our path by Obama.  I do believe we can live in an America whose future will be greater than its past.

Sunday Morning Message

I hate to admit it, but I attended church for the first time this past weekend for the first time in roughly 9 months.  I have my reasons, but that topic is for another time, another blog.  I attended my brother/sister -in-law's church.  I got something from the message (about Jonah) but the service was all too common for me.  It was the same as every church service I can remember from the time I used to stand up in the pew as a three year old and "preach" a little sermon myself, which I am sure my parents loathed.

We sang some "praise" songs (don't get me started Dale) and then a pastor gave a lecture much like a college professor would give, which was designed to entertain and provide some knowledge and challenge the listener.  We then had some announcements, an offering, a closing prayer, and we were all encouraged to visit (Christians say "fellowship") afterwards while we drank coffee and ate cookies. 

As you can tell, I am a little jaded by my "christian"/church experience of the last eight years.  I believe that the modern church has become a "country club" for the less fortunate that can't afford to belong to the local country club or for those that don't enjoy a round of golf or a good match of tennis.  The only cost for belonging to most churches is that you can pay a tithe of ten percent of your income (which most don't) and/or you simply have to learn the "church" language to fit into the culture.  Words like fellowship replace words like "visit" or "hang out".  "Blessing" replaces "a good thing".

The bible has a phrase that says something like they will get their just reward.  To me that phrase means we can be "all in" and be the "real deal" or we can use language to fit into the "country club church".  When I break it down it doesn't seem like a close race...either God or fitting in with a social group.  Funny thing is when we get real and choose God, I think we get both God and the group. 

My problem is that I wonder who is real and authentic and who is not.  I want to spend my time with the real authentic people.  I have spent time with the "country club Christians" and it seems like such a waste of time, money, and energy. And I know I shouldn't really care.  

In reality, the question should be whether or not I am authentic.  So how do we know if we are really spiritual or authentic, if we really love God? The answer lies in our actions. If we are talking one way and living another, we are just using the language of God to manipulate a group of people into affirming us. For example, according to the bible, I should attend church on a regular basis.  I have already admitted that I am not.  God says of me, then, that I have my reward in full. And He’s right. 

But still I hold back for reasons that cut to my core and seem so hard to distance myself from.

I don’t know about you, but I want more. I want the real stuff.

Jesus would ALLOW same sex marriage

As you most likely know, last week the New York legislature passed a law legalizing same sex marriage.  Within two days, a gay parade was streaming through the streets of New York, with Governor Andrew Cuomo leading the way.  Now, this may strike those of you who follow my blog as strange, however, I understand the argument that gay marriage does not hurt anyone. Gay marriage does not kill anyone (with the exception of the increased risk of AIDS).  Gay marriage does not make me want to be gay.  Gay marriage does not affect interest rates or currency in the U.S.  In fact, gay marriage seems harmless in most ways.  I believe Jesus would allow laws for gay marriage.  My problem with gay marriage is the "after affect" and the issues that get forced  upon individuals and institutions.  Let me explain.

Shortly after legislatures enacted the law allowing gay marriage in New York, the Catholic Church, through it's bishops,  issued a statement.  It read:

"We strongly uphold the Catholic Church's clear teaching that we always treat our homosexual brothers and sisters with respect, dignity and love, but we just as strongly affirm that marriage is the joining of one man and one woman in a lifelong, loving union that is open to children, ordered for the good of those children and the spouses themselves," they said. "This definition cannot change, though we realize that our beliefs about the nature of marriage will continue to be ridiculed, and that some will even now attempt to enact government sanctions against churches and religious organizations that preach these timeless truths."  I agree with 99% of this statement, however, the bishops are wrong about one thing - - the efforts to sanction churches for defending the truth will not be starting now, they have already started.  In a 2004 court case, (Catholic Charities of Sacramento v. the Superior Court of Sacramento County) the liberal establishment twisted the Constitution and used the government  to force churches to act against their own moral teachings.

In the Catholic Charities case, a six-to-one majority of the California Supreme Court upheld a law enacted by the California legislature that required Catholic schools, hospitals and charitable organizations to provide prescription contraception coverage for their employees if they purchased any prescription drug coverage for their employees at all.

It did not matter to the majority in California's legislature, who passed the law, and then Gov. Gray Davis, who signed it, that employees of Catholic organizations were free to buy any kind of contraceptives they wanted -- with their own money. These politicians wanted to force the Catholic Church to buy contraceptives against its teaching.

The Catholic Church argued that it deeply believed and clearly taught that artificial contraception was wrong. The church also said it believed it had a moral obligation -- as part of its duty to treat workers justly -- to provide prescription drug coverage for its employees.

The liberals behind California's contraceptive law no doubt relished putting the Catholic Church in this box: force Catholic authorities to choose between upholding their church's teaching on artificial contraception or upholding their church's view of the just treatment of workers.  They wanted to force the Catholic Church to choose one wrong or another. It is hard to imagine an uglier or more tyrannical impulse in a politician.

The church resisted. Catholic Charities of Sacramento sued the state, seeking to protect its own and everyone else's freedom of religion, asking a very simple question.  "Under the Constitution, does the state of California have the right to tell its citizens how to practice their religion?" Some Protestant churches joined in the fight.  A brief was filed that stated, " The state proposes a rule of law that forces a church institution, in violation of its own self-identity and constitution, to pay for something in its own workplace that the institution holds and teaches to be sinful,"

The California Supreme Court's decision was bold and simple. It conceded that the California law demanded that the Catholic Church act against its own teachings.  "We do not doubt Catholic Charities' assertion that to offer insurance coverage for prescription contraceptives to its employees would be religiously unacceptable," said the court.

But it concluded that the state's interest in eliminating "gender discrimination" trumped the Catholic Church's freedom of religion.

Laws not allowing gay marriage will not make our nation better.  Only when the hearts of men and women in America are changed, will we start to see fundamental, long-lasting, and meaningful change.  I personally see the law enacted last week in New York as a symptom of a select few elitist ruling class lawmakers enacting their personal agenda.

I stated in the first paragraph that Jesus would allow laws allowing gay marriage.  My point is that He would allow an individual to choose whether or not to follow His laws and principles.  He would not force someone to believe one way or another. God allows choice. I simply hope that our government will allow me the opportunity, the choice, to treat my homosexual brothers and sisters with respect, dignity and love, but to also strongly affirm that marriage is the joining of one man and one woman in a lifelong, loving union that is open to children, ordered for the good of those children and the spouses themselves.

I am afraid I will not be afforded that choice in the future.

Spending Fourth of July Alone

Dena, Joshy, and I went to Chicago over the Fourth holiday.  We had a wonderful time.  We visited the "Taste of Chicago", went to Cantigny, had an awesome time visiting family, and also enjoyed just getting away for a short time.  Then, on July 4th, we drove back.  I went to Kentucky and the rest of my family drove to Tennessee. For a short time, I felt sorry for myself.  I sat in a camper by myself.  No fireworks.  No grilling out.  No friends.  Nothing. 

But then I started to gain some perspective on the day.

The first thing that I was able to do was to view the celebration from a distance.  I have made a living, in part, by learning to observe people.  And yesterday was fantastic to observe from a distance.  I watched as young teenagers were kayaking in the lake and splashing each other endlessly.  I watched as several people were playing a pick-up game of touch football.  People were grilling, playing frisbee, fishing.  People had campfires roaring.  Kids were playing with water balloons.  And the sounds of laughter, and happiness, and joy filled the air.  In so many ways it was so distinctly American and a wonderful celebration of our freedom as a nation.  It represented one of the reasons that we are still the greatest nation on earth.

Secondly, I thought of one of the main reasons that we were able to celebrate our independence and freedom; the American military.  These men and women are away from their families for months and sometimes years at a time.  They voluntarily protect our country so that we can have celebrations like the ones I observed.  I also thought back to a speech that President Ronald Reagan wrote in 1981.  In his writing, Ronnie wrote about the framers of the Declaration of Independence.  He noted that men such as John Hart was driven from the side of his desperately ill wife and for more than a year he lived in the forest and in caves before he returned to find his wife dead, his children vanished, and his property destroyed. He died of exhaustion and a broken heart.  He was not alone.  Men such as Carter Braxton of Virginia lost all his ships, sold his home to pay his debts, and died in rags. And so it was with Ellery, Clymer, Hall, Walton, Gwinnett, Rutledge, Morris, Livingston and Middleton. Nelson personally urged Washington to fire on his home and destroy it when it became the headquarters for General Cornwallis. Nelson died bankrupt.

So to spend the Fourth of July in a non-traditional way doesn't seem like such a high price to pay when considering what the military volunteers for and the stories of what the framers of the Declaration endured. 

Don't get me wrong.  I would have loved to be with family and friends yesterday and I hope and pray that my life will return to some form of "normalcy" in the near future.  But, in a strange kind of way, I enjoyed seeing the holiday from a different perspective.

God Bless America!!!!

My Opinion of the Casey Anthony Trial

When the "not guilty" verdict was read in the Casey Anthony trial, an instant outpouring of anger filled the press just outside of the courthouse, the airwaves, and the workplace cubicles of America.  It was reported that someone had fainted upon hearing the verdict just outside of the courtroom.  I read several FaceBook posts that were asking God to torment the jurors for letting a baby killer go free. 

I have another opinion.

1. Thank God for the legal system that we have.  I have read several articles about countries such as China, Iraq, Saudi Arabia, and Darfur where people are not questioned about their guilt or innocence.  These countries simply line people up that are suspects, or were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time, and shoot them in the head.  Yeah, they probably get the guilty party in the process but not without killing 10-15 innocent people along the way.  As flawed as it may be, and although we sometimes apparently get the verdict wrong, I still prefer the American legal system.
2. In a strange way, I find it ironic that so many people are mourning and grieving the death of this little two-year old.  I have seen video of people crying, shouting angrily, and in sheer disbelief.  Even some pro-abortionists that I know are upset about the verdict.  So I have a solution.  Simply treat the death of Caylee as an abortion that was delayed for two years.  Sound brutal?  It is.  And so is abortion.  But no pro-abortionist mourns the millions of deaths of innocent children every year.  Instead, they applaud women's rights.  In my opinion, their lives are just as important as Caylee's life was.
3. The pictures that I have seen of this little girl are so innocent and adorable.  I am sure that she was precious.  And as much as I detest the death of Caylee, I have to hold to the promise that she is in a place that is so much better than she could ever imagine.  In the bible, Jesus got angry at his disciples when the children were trying to climb onto Jesus' lap.  He said, "Leave the children alone, and do not keep them from coming to Me; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these".  I believe Caylee will never cry again.  I believe she will never be lonely or afraid or upset.  She will never be hungry and she will be surrounded by more love than she knew was possible. 

I know my opinions in this blog are not "mainstream".  I designed it that way.  My hope it that it gave you a moment to think and consider some of your thoughts and opinions as you hear the constant coverage of this case in the upcoming days.

R.I.P. Caylee Anthony.

Leading a Double Life

Most of my blog followers know that I spend most of the work week in Kentucky and the weekends at home in Tennessee.  Obviously, at times it has been a struggle.  It is hard to be away from my family.  I have missed my youngest son's entire high school career and have missed most of my oldest son's award banquets and college concerts.  I often wonder if the price paid has been too high.

But there are good things about being in Kentucky.  I have learned to really enjoy living in my camper.  It is small and compact, but offers all of the necessary things I need and want.  I have a radio, a refrigerator, an oven and a stove, a bed, and a table.  I have found that TVs are not necessary and big beautiful homes don't make the man.  I have learned to love the simplistic life and want to take these lessons with me the rest of my life.

The strange thing about my two separate lives is that I am finding more and more that I have two separate identities.  I act differently in Kentucky than I do in Tennessee.  I oftentimes am a different person.  And strangely enough, the person that I am in Kentucky is more at peace than the person that I am in Tennessee.  I don't act this way on purpose, but I often react to my surroundings and circumstances.  I tend to be a chameleon.  And I need to change.

When I am in Kentucky I stop and take time to reflect.  I wake up in the morning and enjoy the sunshine and the gentle breeze as it blows through the camper. I build fires and read a book next to it.  I eat simple, clean, healthy meals that take little time to prepare but are delicious.  I volunteer.  I enjoy the quietness of being alone in the campground.  I look at the stars and enjoy listening to the birds. I focus and am prepared to face the next day.

Then I go to Tennessee at the end of the week and it seems like life speeds up and there are so many distractions around me that I start to react.  I become more tense.  I am shorter with my loved ones.  There is much to do and Sunday night or Monday morning departure always seem like just hours away.  I watch a few  recorded shows on TV.  I don't take time to look at the stars.  I don't just relax with my family.  Sure, we go out to eat and enjoy meals together but that tends to be my "downtime".  I don't read as much in Tennessee.  I try to write my blogs ahead of time.  I try to make sure my boys have some direction.  I lecture them on helping around the house while I am gone.  I deal with all of the "ugly" stuff.....and then I leave and go back to Kentucky. 

I know some of what I am conveying is just normal.  I am trying to fit being a husband and father into two days and it creates some chaos.  But I do feel like a chameleon.  I do feel like a hypocrite.  And I think that oftentimes I am cheating my family out of the real me, the best part of me. 

Next August I will be an official "empty-nester". 

I just hope and pray that I didn't sacrifice being the type of father and husband that I should be due to some of my business and personal decisions, both past and present.

A Personal Blog for My Boys

It's fun to watch my boys grow up.  They are starting to face things that every young man must face in his journey into manhood.  Spencer is getting his own place next week and attempting life on his own for the first time off campus.  He is also making decisions about his life now that will affect the rest of his life, some in big ways and some in small ways.  Josh is going into his senior year of high school and will soon be making decisions about what school to run for and what he wants to major in. 

And then there is the dating scene.  I think Josh really likes a certain special some one.  They spend so much time together just talking, and laughing, and doing simple things like going to Chik-Fil-A.  He seems to really enjoy just being around her.  I remember that stage when dating Dena.  It was great.  But nothing replaces spending time together over a long period of time and letting someone you love actually become a part of you.

So as the boys start to date and get into more serious relationships in the future, I want to give them some guidelines to follow, even though I failed at all of these things many times over.

1. Follow God's principles of love.  They are impossible to achieve, but no example could ever be better of how we should love others.
2. Let her know she matters.  Surprise her with small things and big things.  Show her and tell her you care often.  Talk to her even when you don't want to.  Brag about her in public.
3. Be consistent in your attitude and behavior.  Don't flip out and/or disappear.  Be on time.  Always follow through.
4. Be honest and straightforward but sensitive.  Even when it's hard to do.  It will prevent alot of heartache in the future.
5. Pursue her.  Plan dates.  Be spontaneous.  Do big things and small.
6. Be the man.  Sounds simple, but sometimes it is not.  Lead.  Say "No" when you should.  Don't blame it on her.  Be honorable.  Treat her like you would want your own daughter to be treated.

Dating is a process that you should enjoy.  If it is difficult, you are dating the wrong person.  Figure out what you like in a mate and what you don't.  Make a list of what you think the perfect woman would be and then try to date people that most closely fit that list. 

And dont forget to have fun.

Declaring Independence for our Nation

Why do we celebrate the Fourth of July holiday?  There will be many articles and blogs written today about what today means to America.  My version is very short and direct.

The Declaration of Independence represents the important, direct, and official position of the Founding Fathers in why they believed it was necessary to declare Independence from England.  It states, in part:

When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.  We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness......

The Founders believed in the dignity of the individual that, as human beings, we have a right to live freely and pursue that which motivates us, not because man or some governments says so, but because these are God-given natural rights.

That is what the Fourth of July means to me.  Happy Fourth of July America!



A Leader without Title

I once shared the stage with a man named Robin Sharma.  I gave a speech to Shred-it International and was pleased that my speech was ranked 1st amongst the speakers for that particular international conference.  However, I won the battle and not the war. 

Robin Sharma has gone on to have a very successful career in the  Leadership Development consulting business.  He is the globally celebrated author of 11 international bestselling books on leadership including The Leader Who Had No Title, the phenomenal #1 blockbuster that is inspiring a movement around the idea that “Now, anyone - in any organization - can show Leadership”. His work has been published in over 60 countries and in nearly 70 languages, making him one of the most widely read authors in the world. He shot to fame with The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari, which has topped international bestseller lists and sold millions of copies. Robin is the founder of Sharma Leadership International Inc., a global consultancy that helps people in organizations Lead Without a Title. Clients comprise many FORTUNE 500 companies including Microsoft, GE, NIKE, FedEx and IBM. Organizations such as NASA, IMD Business School, Yale University and The Young President's Organization are also SLI clients. Robin is a former litigation lawyer who holds two law degrees including a Masters of Law (Dalhousie Law School).

Robin's Leading Without Title philosophy so inspired me that my business cards have the letters L.W.T. where I am supposed to have my title.  I love the concept of leading without a title.  It's Nike's version of Just Do It but without the fanfare and recognition that we so often crave. 

I kid myself often and say that I don't need recognition.  But in reality I do.  I like people to know that I am doing a good job.  I like them to know that I am putting in the effort to make things happen.  So, while I agree with this concept, it is hard for me to really live by.  I put ten times the energy into being “publicly good” than I do into being “privately good.” But hopefully through my awareness something in me is starting to change.

Maybe I am more aware simply because of my age. I am afraid that much of my young adult years were spent on projecting an image rather than establishing true character.  My BMW, nice suits, and large incredible homes did not build my character.  The truth is we all want to be perceived as hard-working, good people because those are the people who get respect and a way of showing others that you are hard-working and good is to have the toys.  But being a hard-working, good person is, well, hard work. And the true rewards come to those who establish that kind of character for real and are willing to do whatever it takes to lead with no title and to do the right thing without needing to be recognized.

I wonder how much time we spend talking about a cause vs working on behalf of a cause like politics, or abortion, or helping the homeless? How much time do we spend talking up our marriages vs loving our spouse? How much time do we spend talking about theology vs doing our theology? These are all questions I’m pondering, questions that might help me become “a leader without title”.  Hopefully questions that might help me build true character.

Hopefully, you will ask the same questions of yourself.

Service that Makes a Difference

I read an interesting article the other day about service.  The article caught my attention because it was about a restaurant in Seattle and I have a friend and co-worker that just moved to Louisville from that area.  The restaurant is a fine-dining restaurant that has won many awards for it's food, the wine and the service. Although the restaurant is well known for it's food and wine, the article is about how the author is most impressed by the service.  I find this fascinating because world class service is about humility, kindness, excellence and loving people through action more than words.  It does not matter what your profession, I believe one can learn a little bit about how to truly service the customer from the article posted below. 

Reprinted from The Today Show food column called “Bites.”
By Wilson Rothman

My birthday tradition of the past few years has been a visit to Canlis, one of Seattle’s mainstays for celebration seekers and the well-to-do. Founded in 1950, it’s outlasted most of its competition, yet manages to stay fresh — it recently received culinary accolades in both Food & Wine and Saveur.  The food is surprising and exquisite, the wine pairings are perfect. So why, whenever I describe Canlis to friends, do I always end up going on and on about the valet parking?

It’s simple in the way the best magic tricks are: When you pull into their carport, a friendly guy in a jacket and sneakers greets you, takes your keys and vanishes with your car. No tickets, no names, no nothing. Then, two or three hours later, as you’re walking out the huge glass doors, your car glides up. Glides up. It isn’t waiting there for you, but is easing in just as you are easing out.

Now let me say that Canlis isn’t one of those cute little restaurants with eight tables where the owner is also cooking all the food. It has the capability of serving hundreds, with a huge dining room, a piano bar and multiple private party spaces. The first time my wife and I went, there was, in addition to the restaurant’s typical business, a gathering of 100 people in an upstairs room, arriving and leaving in large clusters.
How in hell can they park and retrieve all of those cars, without one single ticket or name? The tech nerd in me got to brainstorming possibilities.

Maybe closed-circuit cameras throughout the restaurant could help valets track the movement of guests. Perhaps they screenshot you walking through the door, and digitally assign your keys to that image.
Or maybe it’s based on payment: Assuming they somehow manage to confirm your name or table with the hostess, what if they got an instant message when you pay your check, alerting them to ready your vehicle?
I could go on — something to do with proximity-detecting lasers, or perhaps RFID tags secretly stuck onto your clothing — but instead I decided that the best bet was to ask. I called up co-owner and third-generation scion Mark Canlis, and begged him to divulge the secret.

“I’ll tell you, and you’ll tell everyone else, but no one will believe it,” Canlis said to me. “They [his valet-parking crew] care a whole lot more than anybody else does.” What’s that supposed to mean?
“For 60 years, someone has stood out there, welcomed the cars in, shook the guests’ hands and let them in the restaurant,” Canlis said. “There are no tickets, there’s no fancy computer system, no chits, no counting cars, no secret book. They just remember. The whole thing is from memory.”

Canlis does admit that there’s a lot of secret chatter happening outside what he calls “the bubble,” the happy place where each party remains oblivious to the frantic work of the staff. If you look hard enough, you can spot valets on the prowl, and even notice a few blind spots where servers could tip off the car jockeys to the status of a given diner.

But back in the beginning, there really was a magic trick, or at least a magician.

Dick Sprinkle was in charge of valet parking at Canlis from 1950 to 1990.

“In the early days, when my granddad opened the restaurant, he called his buddy Dick Sprinkle in. Essentially he had a photographic memory. He remembered your wife, and your next wife, and all your children. He knew when you upgraded from one car to another,” Canlis said.

Sprinkle’s total recall capabilities proved that large-scale valet parking could be done without tickets or names, but when it came time to replace him, they couldn’t exactly advertise for another valet-parking savant. Sprinkle’s replacement, Shawn Leuckel, had to teach himself — and his whole staff — how to pull it off without superhuman powers.

“Shawn does not have a photographic memory, he just practices,” Canlis said. “He’s hired 30 or 40 guys [since joining in the 1980s], and every one of them learns. They work their tails off.”

What’s the point of this, when it would be so easy to just hand out tickets? “The whole feel of the restaurant is that you’re coming to our home. Why would I turn you into a number? It’s not fine dining, it’s not service. I am shocked when I go to a restaurant and they turn me into a number.”

Even Canlis himself, on occasion, has to park cars. He says the staff doesn’t necessarily expect him to be as skilled as Dick Sprinkle, but he’s got to hold his own. “I have to be proficient. I can successfully memorize my five cars. I had to practice that. You know, 3 Series BMW with the really dirty wheels; Asian gentleman, super sharp suit, open collar, blue Jetta; tattered pair of jeans, huge scrape across the car.”

For the valets, the game of memory continues all night long. “‘Here comes table 23, she’s got the red dress on, he’s got the Armani suit. This one? No, this one!’ And they tear off running,” Canlis said. “Their uniform includes running shoes — they run a lot.”

This article makes me want to provide a better, more altruistic service in my own career. Hopefully, it will provide the same inspiration to you.

The A.C.O.R.N. doesn't fall far from the Tree

I am heading to Chicago for the Fourth of July holiday.  I can't wait.  I love Chicago and visiting with family.  But within the last few days, Chicago has been in the news once again for something other than than it's wonderful museums, beautiful views of the lake, zoos, the Aquarium, etc, etc, etc.  That's right, the trial of former governer Rod Blagojevich brought to light a poorly kept "secret" about Chicago's politics........they are corrupt!  And this last episode is part of Chicago politics tradition.

Since the 1970's, Illinois has had 8 governors. Four of these governors have gone to prison on charges related to corruption. 

1. Otto Kerner

Term: 1961-1968; followed by a term as a Judge on the US Court of Appeals-7th Circuit, nominated by President Lyndon B. Johnson.

Party: Democrat

The crime: Taking bribes from the manager, Marge Lindheimer Everett of Arlington Race Track. Arlington wanted two expressway exits. Kerner received stock in exchange for the exits. How did Kerner get caught? Everett deducted the bribe on his tax returns thinking that bribes were part and parsal of doing business in Illinois. 

The conviction: Bribery, tax evasion, conspiracy, perjury, and related charges

2. Dan Walker

Term: 1973-1977

Party: Democrat

The crime: Committed several improprieties involving the First American Savings and Loan Association of Oak Brook. It is speculated that Walker received over $1 million in fraudulent loans to for his other business and repairs to the Governor's Lady, his yacht.

 

The conviction: Bank Fraud and other improprieties

3. George Ryan

Term: 1999-2003

Party: Republican

The crime:

"Mr. Ryan steered contracts worth millions of dollars to friends and took payments and vacations in return. When he was a sitting governor, he lied to the F.B.I. about this conduct and then he went out and did it again." He charged that one of the most egregious aspects of the corruption was Ryan's action after learning that bribes were being paid for licenses. Instead of ending the practice he tried to end the investigation that had uncovered it, Fitzgerald said, calling the moment "a low-water mark for public service." 

 

The conviction: Corruption

4. Rod Blagojevich 

Term: 2003-2009

Party: Democrat

Charges: Federal corruption charges (e.g. conspiracy to commit mail and wire fraud and solicitation of bribery).

 

The conviction: Found guilty on 17 of the charges. "He was found guilty on all charges pertaining to the senate seat, however he was acquitted on a charge pertaining to the tollway extortion. Each count holds a max of twenty years in prison, and sentencing should begin within the next few months."

Honorable Mention:

 

William Stratton--who was indicted for tax evasion, but later acquitted. Stratton was the governor from 1953-1961

So, this corrupt "history" makes me wonder about our current president and his ties to Chicago politics.  It doesn't seem like such a far stretch to think that there may be a "shady" bunch surrounding the president.  And it doesn't seem like such a stretch to think that Barrack Obama may have learned a few tricks himself.  After all, the only politics Obama knew before entering through the doors of the White House was 142 days of political office in Chicago.  And before that, Obama headed up the Illinois chapter of ACORN, an organization known for it's corruption.

If I were a betting man, I would say the A.C.O.R.N. has not fallen too far from the "tree".