Fri(end)s

I have several friends, most of whom are "casual" friends.  I have friends at work. I have a group of freshman boys that I mentor. I have some good friends that I stay in contact with from my high school and college days.  And I have a few good friends that I have known for a long, long time.  It's strange because my good friends are all very different, but I enjoy each of their different qualities and quirks.

Mrs. Luthe, my poli sci teacher in high school, made a comment one day that has stuck with me for over thirty years now.  She said, "The word friend ends with e.n.d.  All friendships end."  I thought she was on old cynical goofball at the time, but as time has passed, I realize that there is more truth to her statement than I could have ever realized.  There are so many friends that I have known only for a short time and then, for one reason or another, they are out of my life and move from the category of a friend to someone that is a past aquaintance.  I often wonder what old friends like Ralph Bristol and Steve Krull and John McCormick are doing.  I was never really good friends with these guys but grew up with them and then at age 18 they were gone.  All of us went in different directions and I have hardly ever, maybe never, talked to them again.

Then there are the friends that have been friends for a very long time, and seem to take our friendship for granted.  Some of them have made decisions and have shown, through their actions, that our friendship is based on what I can do for them.  So it makes it difficult when they pop back into my life and ask for favors. 

But, I think it is the right thing to do to put that individual's wants or needs before mine and show them what true friendship is.  I have been given the opportunity lately to let the past be the past and to just be a friend again.  And when I do the right thing, without exception, some of the "junk" just seems to fade away and old friendships are rekindled.

There are always two sides to a "story".  I am sure I have offended some of my old friends, most times without even knowing.  And I hope that some of them will let the past be the past so that we can rekindle our friendship again.

Storms

This morning I woke up, took a shower, walked to the family room and sat in my favorite leather chair.  The morning was calm and peaceful.  The weather was cloudy and warm.  As I was reading, a sudden explosion of thunder rocked the windows panes and shortly thereafter a nice steady stream of rain started to fall.  I opened the windows a bit just to experience the event.  The smell of fresh rain, the loud thunder; it really was awe inspiring and, yes, enjoyable. 

Storms hold memories for me.  As I stared out the window, contemplating and reflecting, I was taken back to when I was young and used to sit on the porch with my dad enjoying the storms.  He taught me the awe and wonder of a storm.  I also remember having to get under my desk or lining up in the hall in the fetal position waiting for storms to pass.  Memories raced to prom night when I put my girlfriend's father's car in the ditch and spent the rest of the night pushing his car out of the ditch, in a snow storm.  And more recently, I had thoughts of the ice storm in Kentucky that was so severe that I ended up spending the night in the showerhouse with my bible, my gun, and a head light waiting for daybreak that seemed to never come.

But mostly I like storms because they are awesome reminders of the power of nature; the power of God.  Storms are unpredictable and change, at times, almost immediately.  Storms make me feel small and, in some ways, helpless.  They remind me of the power and "bigness" of God.  They show us that no matter how important we think we are, we are at the mercy of God and his protection.

So thank You God for the storms.  Thank You for the reminder of Your power and majesty.  And help us to remember that, in the storms of life, You are just as awesome and just as big and that we are at Your mercy and still under Your protection.

The BIG 5-0!!

Yesterday my computer "blue-screened" first thing in the morning.  Not a good thing for a "blogger". Especially, because I was starting my 50th blog of the year.  So my apologies go out to all those who read on a daily basis. I drove home to Tennessee, unpacked, took a shower, went to Spencer's concert and got home and ready for bed about 1:00 a.m..  A very late night for me.

Although, obviously I was not able to write yesterday, I have found that I am really enjoying writing.  It's a kind of release for me.  It keeps me wondering throughout the day.  I find myself more aware of what is going on around me and how it affects me.  And I like sharing my thoughts with the few of you that know of my blog. I am now thinking about taking the next big step and doing something that I have always wanted to do.  I am thinking about writing a fictional book based primarily on the life of my granddad.  One of the things I find very interesting about my grandfather's life is that the world has changed so much throughout his 96 years and how he has both adapted and also changed as a person during that time.  I will let you know if I get the guts to really do it.

I do have some ideas for some future blogs that I am researching so you may want to stay tuned if any of these things interest you.  Along with my rants about politics, and friends, and fear, and family, I plan on writing about some slogans from commercials in the past and how they are different today than they were then.  I plan on writing about the Wisconsin teachers union and providing some shocking statistics.  I have some blogs about automobiles that I am currently researching that I think you will find interesting. I also have been contemplating things like what is the difference between panicking and "choking" and why some people seem to always "drop the ball" and why some people never do.  I want to write about recent success stories that show that the American dream is still alive and some people are still making it happen today.

But for today, I want to get my computer working so that I can focus on getting some more blogs up and going.  As I stated before, I am enjoying writing blogs.  I hope that you are enjoying reading them.

Onward to blog # 51.

Marriage and the Constitution

Yesterday, February 23, 2011, was an historic day.  Yesterday, President Obama woke up in the White House and, after two years of arguing the constitutionality of DOMA (Defense of Marriage Act), changed his mind, deciding in effect that his own arguments were invalid.  Ironically, lower courts throughout this nation have found DOMA constitutional.   In 2008, Obama said that he doesn't support gay marriage. So, on one hand the president is saying that he doesn't support gay marriage.  But then he finds laws based on his own belief unreasonable and unconstitutional. And he finds these laws, or parts of these laws unconstitutional, so he tells the courts of the land not to enforce them. I don't think it is possible to have a more incoherent view.

In a letter to Boehner, and later in a press conference, Eric Holder (Attorney General) said that defending the Defense of Marriage Act in the lawsuits at issue would require the Justice Department to support limiting marriage to heterosexual couples in cases where a regional federal appeals court has set no such precedent.  Citing a history of discrimination against gays and lesbians, Holder said “the President and I have concluded that classifications based on sexual orientation warrant heightened scrutiny,” and must therefore be “substantially related to an important government objective.”  Applying that standard, Holder said the legislative record underlying the law’s passage “contains numerous expressions reflecting moral disapproval of gays and lesbians and their intimate and family relationships -- precisely the kind of stereotype thinking the Equal Protection Clause is designed to guard against.”  That statement should shock you to your core. "The president and I have concluded".  Unbelievable and unconstitutional, indeed. 

In every state that there has been a referendum on the ballot deciding whether or not to accept gay marriage, all 33 states have decided against the proposal. In 1996, the Clinton administration had found something of a federal compromise with DOMA.  It allows each state to be a laboratory of democracy and work it the issue on its own. The key provision of the defense of marriage act is that states are not required to recognize gay marriage of other states so, in effect, it doesn't federalize gay marriage. And that is a good compromise in a large country that is not united on this issue and allows each state to go its own way.  Up until now, DOMA has been considered a stable resolution, and now all of a sudden this administration is saying they're going to nationalize gay marriage in a way that is unwarranted, unwelcome, unprecidented, and unconstitutional.

It's also very shocking to me at the lack of outcry by Congress and by the citizens of the United States since this announcement.  Can you imagine if Reagan or Nixon or Bush would have circumvented the U.S. Constitution and the due process of law?  They would have been impeached.  Oh yeah, Nixon was. What would happen if future presidents would denounce the legalization of abortion?  With the precedent being set by this president, such an act would not be unwarranted.  However, if a future president did denounce the legalization of abortion, the left would be jumping out of windows and rioting in the streets.

So what is going on? My opinion is that the president is being attacked by his supporters for his lack of action, his passivity on the debt issue, for his passivity and lack of action while the Middle East is on fire, for his lack of leadership, and his obvious mishandling of the Wisconsin labor issue. Therefore, he needs to shore up his leftist, progressive supporters behind a common issue.  Another factor may be that he has decided his labor union money may dwindle soon and he needs the gays and lesbians to pick up the tab for his re-election efforts.  He may also be using this as a distraction to what is going on in the streets of Libya and Wisconsin. 

But really, I think that Obama is simply showing us all how narcissistic and lawless he really is.  And I am not the only one who thinks so.  Lamar Smith, the Texas Republican who chairs the House Judiciary Committee, called the Justice Department’s decision to stop defending the law “irresponsible.” Smith said in a statement “this is the real politicization of the Justice Department when the personal views of the president override the government’s duty to defend the law of the land.”

Hang on folks.  Obama has stated that he doesn't like guns and the 2nd Amendment.  Let's hope Obama gets a good night's sleep tonight and doesn't wake up on the wrong side of the bed tomorrow morning.

Tough Tennessee Boys

I read a book that had a chapter devoted to how people react based on their heritage and what geographic area of the United States they were raised.  Basically, through several tests, it was determined that people from the North are quick tempered but get over a disagreement very quickly.  On the other hand, people from the South take a long, long time to get rattled, but once something has lit their fuse, it takes a long, long time to put the fire out.  I think this observation is correct.  I know firsthand from experience and have been the benefactor of someone from the South having a "slow lighting fuse".  In my pre-teen wisdom, I broke my Grandpa Montgomery's cigarettes into pieces and threw them away, thinking that this would discourage him from smoking and keep him healthier.  I did get grounded and punished, but my Grandpa Montgomery didn't say anything and continued to love and accept me through the years.  I personally never saw Grandpa Montgomery angry, but if studies are correct and he would have gotten angry, I may still be grounded today.

I believe that this Southern trait of "honor in action" played a huge role in a famous battle that began on this day in 1836.  On this day 175 years ago, Mexico's president, Gen. Antonio López de Santa Anna, concentrated forces south of the Rio Grande. Sam Houston, the commander of Texas's armies, ordered San Antonio abandoned, but troops under James Bowie and William B. Travis chose to remain. They were joined by the "Tennessee boys" led by Davy Crockett at the Alamo.

When Santa Anna's army reached San Antonio, Travis, in full command because Bowie had fallen ill, declared from within the Alamo, ""I shall never surrender or retreat."... victory or death." The latter increasingly became the more likely prospect. The Mexican force has been estimated at from 2,400 to over 5,000, the Alamo's defenders numbered only about 185, and Santa Anna declared he would show no mercy.

On March 6, after thirteen days of siege, the Mexicans stormed the citadel. It took three assaults and close combat to overcome the insurgents.  "Best estimates" of Mexican dead have ranged from six hundred to nearly sixteen hundred.  The battle gave the insurgents their martyrs and their battle cry. Shouting "Remember the Alamo!" Texans overwhelmed a Mexican force six weeks later at San Jacinto (April 21, 1836). There, Santa Anna was captured and independence won for the Texans.

So how does an army of 185 soldiers hold off an army with as many as 5000 for 13 days?  How did they kill up to 1600 Mexicans?  I would like to think that the good old boys from Tennessee, along with the Texans,  had "their fuses lit" and they were determined to fight for their beliefs no matter what the odds were.  Obviously, they fought like fierce warriors.  Obviously, they fought with "honor " that had been instilled within from generations past.

Well done Tennessee Volunteers!

What in the world is going on??

I am a simple man.  Very average.  I don't have an Ivy League degree and I don't have millions of dollars at my disposal.  For some, these admissions are enough to dismiss any thoughts or opinions I may have.  That's o.k. with me.  Of note, I also am not a conspiracy theorist. But I have been following recent world events; from London to Egypt to Libya to Wisconsin.  And I don't think these events are as random or impromptu as we are led to believe.  I honestly believe that these protests and riots are funded, planned, and carried out by individuals that have a purpose.  I believe that purpose is to destroy the American way of life and, ultimately, to work towards a One World Order.  I almost feel silly writing this.  And at the risk of sounding like Glenn Beck, I will try to explain to you why I believe what I do.

In doing some research behind the recent protests and demands for governments to be toppled, I kept finding a reoccurring theme; A man by the name of George Soros has been involved in the overturning of at least 5 different country's governments and in the demise of the British Sterling ( which resulted in Soros making a billion dollars himself).  The pattern of what transpired in these countries is eerily similar to London, Egypt, and Libya.  George Soros' organizations are well-known organizers for the Wisconsin protests.

So who is George Soros and what is he all about?  Steve Croft, a CBS reporter, interviewed Soros on "60 Minutes" and found several interesting things:

Soros is a multi-billionaire atheist, with skewed moral values, and a sociopath’s lack of conscience.  He considers himself to be an elitist world class philosopher, despises the American Way and just loves to do social engineering (change cultures).  György Schwartz, better known to the world as George Soros, was born August 12, 1930 in Hungary .  Soros’ father, Tivadar, was a fervent practitioner of the Esperanto­a language invented in 1887, and designed to be the first global language, free of any national identity.

When Hitler’s henchman Adolf Eichmann arrived in Hungary , to oversee the murder of that country’s Jews, George Soros ended up with a man whose job was confiscating property from the Jewish population.  Soros went with him on his rounds, even though Soros was/is a Jew himself.  Soros has repeatedly called 1944 “the best year of his life.”

After WWII, Soros attended the London School of Economics, where he fell under the mentorship of fellow atheist and Hungarian, Karl Popper, one of his professors.  Popper was a mentor to Soros until Popper’s death in 1994.  Two of Popper’s most influential teachings concerned “the open society,” and Fallibilism.
Fallibilism is the philosophical doctrine that all claims of knowledge could, in principle, be mistaken.  (Then again, I could be wrong about that.)
The “open society” basically refers to a “test and evaluate” approach to social engineering. Regarding “open society” Roy Childs writes, “Since the Second World War, most of the Western democracies have followed Popper’s advice about piecemeal social engineering and democratic social reform, and it has gotten them into a grand mess.”

The website Greek National Pride reports, “[Soros] was part of the full court press that dismantled Yugoslavia and caused trouble in Georgia , Ukraine and Myanmar [ Burma ].  Calling himself a philanthropist, Soros’ role is to tighten the ideological stranglehold of globalization and the New World Order while promoting his own financial gain.  He is without conscience; a capitalist who functions with absolute amorality.”

So how does all of this relate to America?  George Soros is one of Obama's personal consultants.  He has visited the White House several times to have one-on-one meetings with the President of the United States.  After these meetings, several events lined up.  First, Obama has recently promised 10 billion of our tax dollars to Brazil, in order to give them a leg-up in expanding their offshore oil fields (while shutting down the Gulf's oil rigs).  Obama’s gift to Brazil came shortly after his political financial backer, George Soros, invested heavily in Brazilian oil (Petrobras).  Tait Trussel writes, “The Petrobras loan may be a windfall for Soros and Brazil , but it is a bad deal for the U.S.   The American Petroleum Institute estimates that oil exploration in the U.S. could create 160,000 new, well-paying jobs, as well as $1.7 trillion in revenues to federal, state, and local governments, all while fostering greater energy security and independance.”

Also, the November 2008 edition of the German magazine “Der Spiegel,” Soros gives his opinion on what the next POTUS (President of the U.S. ) should do after taking office.  “I think we need a large stimulus package.”  Soros thought that around 600 billion would be about right.  Soros also said that “I think Obama presents us a great opportunity to finally deal with global warming and energy dependence.  The U.S. needs a cap and trade system with auctioning of licenses for emissions rights.”  Needless to say, Obama obviously has taken the advice of his friend.

Soros has been actively working to destroy America from the inside out for some years now.  People have been warning us.  Two years ago news sources reported that “Soros [is] an extremist who wants open borders, a one-world foreign policy, legalized drugs, euthanasia, and on and on.  This is off-the-chart dangerous.”  In 1997 Rachel Ehrenfeld wrote, “Soros uses his philanthropy to change­ or more accurately deconstruct ­the moral values and attitudes of the Western world, and particularly of the American people.  His “open society” is not about freedom; it is about license.  His vision rejects the notion of ordered liberty, in favor of a PROGRESSIVE ideology of rights and entitlements.”
Perhaps the most important of these “whistle blowers” are David Horowitz and Richard Poe.  Their book “The Shadow Party” outlines in detail how Soros hijacked the Democratic Party, and now owns it lock, stock, and barrel. Soros has been packing the Democratic Party with radicals, and ousting moderate Democrats for years.
The Shadow Party became the Shadow Government, which became the Obama Administration.

Now you know.

p.s.   A blog you might want to keep an eye on is SorosWatch.com.  Their mission:  “This blog is dedicated to all who have suffered due to the ruthless financial pursuits of George Soros.  Your stories are many and varied, but the theme is the same:  the destructive power of greed without conscience.  We pledge to tirelessly watch Soros wherever he goes and to print the truth in the hope that he will one day be made to stop preying upon the world’s poor, that justice will be served.”

Happiness on Purpose

What is happiness?  I'm not talking about "I just had chocolate" happy.  I am talking about an inner happiness that endures.  I have gone to high school reunions over the years and am always surprised at who seems happy and who does not.  As the reunions have continued, more and more of my classmates seem unhappy, or are getting divorced, or are alienated from their children.  I promise you not one single person in the WACOHI class of 1983 graduated with the deliberate strategy of getting divorced or raising children who would become esrtanged from them.  And yet, so many of them have implemented that strategy.  And why?  I believe it is because they didn't keep the purpose of their lives front and center.

Fortunately, I think I am in a good place for the first time in several years.  But I am still "drifting" a little.  Having a clear purpose I believe is essential to happiness and still, at age 46, I don't think I have figured that out yet.  So how do I get there?  I am not sure.

I believe some of the principles that I teach my staff on a daily basis may help in my search for purpose and happiness.  For example, I constantly preach that they shouldn't take shortcuts.  If you study the root causes of business disasters, mine included, time and time again I think you will find a predisposition toward things that offer immediate gratification.  I think that if you look at personal lives through the same lens, you will find the same principles apply and show an ironic pattern:  people often allocate fewer and fewer resources to the very things that they once said meant the most to them.

Another step to happiness is to be humble. I constantly teach my reps to ask questions and then just listen. For the longest time, I thought that only smarter people had something to teach me.  Then I recognized that I was limiting my learning opportunities.  Also, I think you can only be truly humble if you feel good about yourself and want to help others.  When people put others down, their behavior is almost always a product of lack of self-esteem.

Last of all, I believe that you shouldn't measure your life by how far you have climbed the corporate ladder or by how much money you make, but rather by how many people's lives you have affected in a positive manner. 

So, I have a ways to go, but I am committed to spending time regularly to figure out what my true purpose in life is.  I think that will be a giant step in finding happiness.  And ironically, I think I should start with the principles I teach my staff everyday.

NASCAR

I haven't watched NASCAR for years and years.  That's strange because there was a time when I followed the races every week.  I enjoyed the speed, the competition, the teamwork, and the engineering that would allow a car to run such high RPM's for such a long time.  It was a tradition for the "boys" in our family to go to The Brickyard.  The memories of sleeping in the motorhome the night before the race, the pre-race traditions, the long walk to the track, the smell of racing fuel, and the various sights and sounds at the track will always be etched in my mind.  One of my favorite things to do those days was to root against Dale Earnhardt.  I couldn't stand the guy.  It seemed to me that there was a set of rules for Dale Earnhardt and a completely different set of rules for all of the other racers.  He earned his nickname "The Intimidator".  Those were the days.  And then on February 18, 2001 everything changed.  In what seemed like a "minor" wreck on the last turn of the last lap of the race, blocking for his son, Dale Jr., he hit the wall and was gone.

In the 10 years since Earnhardt’s death, the sport has been on a mission to get the "good old days" back. Only it hasn’t been able to. And while NASCAR has been looking back, it hasn’t been able to move forward.  The result, at least in part, is a sport in decline. TV ratings are down and fans are in a state of constant furor – each of which has NASCAR’s front office searching for a magical fix that’s going to make it all better.

Through Earnhardt’s genius, both behind the wheel and as a master showman, he showed the NASCAR world what’s possible – the ideal, if you will. The results were the roaring ’90s for NASCAR, with Earnhardt battling Gordon for championships, bumping fenders with Terry Labonte at Bristol and finally winning that Daytona 500 in 1998. All those events elevated stock-car racing from regional curiosity to national phenomenon.

But the sport now seems "vanilla".  There is no villian.  And as much as I hate to admit it, I miss seeing "The Intimidator" bullying other drivers around the track.  Jimmy Johnson is so nice.  Jeff  Gordon has lost his winning ways.  The most enjoyable part of the races anymore is old D.W. commentating.  And funny this is, he's an old throwback to the good old days of racing himself.

New Gadgets

This morning my wife was walking up the stairs to her office area and her cell phone dropped out of her pocket.  The phone looked fine.  No scratches. No broken screens.  Nothing.  She made a call to my phone and everything worked perfectly.  Then she text me.  The letters didn't work.  She couldn't text.  After trying to reset the phone a few times, it was apparent that her phone was broken and couldn't be fixed.  Text is important to us because of the distance between us on the weekdays.  Within 20 minutes we were on the way to the Verizon store.

I had to chuckle a little because we felt we couldn't be without "texting".  It is absolutely amazing how technology is advancing so quickly. And it seems everyone is jumping on the bandwagon.  From babies having their own Facebook pages to great-grandparents having their own blogs, it seems as though we are wired electronically from beginning to end.  Only 5% of every family in the United States is not on-line. 

I think technology is a "double-edged sword".  I love that I can blog, and text, and Skype while I am away from my family on business.  It helps me feel connected.  It makes me feel like I am still a part of their lives even when I am away.  Last night, I had a conversation with my brother.  He commented that he reads the blog everyday and it brings back memories for him and sometimes makes him think.  We had a great conversation.  It was a conversation we probably wouldn't have had if it wasn't for the blog.  I hung up the phone and thought about how enjoyable it was to be able to talk about some of the blog topics. (Hi Matt!)

On the other hand, all of this new technology can take away from the human contact and conversation that we desperately need to have. "Dinnertime tends to be a much more harried affair," says Dr. Gary Small, a professor of psychiatry at UCLA, in Psychology Today.  "If there is a time to have a family dinner, many family members eat quickly and run back to their own computer or other digital activity." And if you think it is just the teens who can't cut the cord, think again: Mealtimes are disrupted more often by adults being online or on cell phones than by their children.  On average, adults spend 5 hours online at home everyday.  1 in 16 children under the age of 5 has a Facebook page.  78% of people online have admitted to losing track of time on the computer and staying up until the very early hours of the morning.

So, I must confess that I am old-fashioned.  All of this stuff seems so "James Bond 007" to me.  In comparison to those old James Bond movies, truth (or reality) is now definitely stranger than fiction.  I love technology and how I can stay in contact with my family when I am away.  But given the choice, there is no contest between technology and good old-fashioned face-to-face conversation.  It's what memories are made of.  Nothing can ever replace putting up the Christmas tree with Shirl.  Nothing can replace watching the interaction of the "Aggravation" games played at my grandparents house.  A text message pales in comparison to sitting around the table and having a meal and conversation with loved ones. Often times I will call a loved one from someplace special when traveling, like Mount St. Helens or Mackinac Island.  But to have my loved ones share the experience with me is so much more satisfying, so much more memorable.

And I believe that is the way we were created.  I think we were made to share places, and times, and things together.  I think we were made to laugh together, and be there to hold one's hand when going through a struggle.  Yes, technology is awesome, but for me, nothing comes close to sharing life's experiences side-by-side, hand-in-hand..

Margaret J. Martin

I have a little wooden bear that sits on the table in my camper. To a visitor, it may seem as if it is there because it fits the de'cor.  In reality, the little black bear is a cheap tourist souvenir that I bought for my grandma on vacation when I was 10 or 11 years old.  Several years ago, my grandmother "re-gifted" the bear to me.  She gave it back because it was special to her and she wanted me to have it.  I thought it was strange at the time and, quite frankly, I didn't want the souvenir back.  Today, I am very grateful that Grandma did give me the bear back.  Today, I view the cheap little black bear as priceless.

I read and write while sitting at that camper table on a daily basis.  Occasionally, I will pick the bear up and hold it in my hands.  And when I do, the memories of my grandmother often flood my thoughts. Sometimes I smile and sometimes I still shed a tear.  You see, my grandma passed away four years ago this weekend (February 20, 2007), and while I don't have her here any longer, I have the gift of wonderful memories of her and the life she lived.

For me, my grandma was the quintessential grandmother.   My earliest memories of Grandma are of her holding me, reading to me, reciting poems, and scratching my back for what seemed like hours.  Her love was pure.  She had a spirit about her that was kind, unselfish, and accepting.  Yet, at the same time, she was strong, resolute, independent, and made me feel safe and secure. 

As I got older, I always loved visiting her.  While she lived in a modest, simple home, the holidays, and birthdays, and picnics, and family gathering at her home were made festive and special.  Her meals were so incredible.  I still miss her cooking today.  Nothing can replace her Sunday afternoon meal,or the holiday meals that were more special than the presents under the tree. 

Grandma never learned to drive, always wore a dress, never held a job outside the home, and only raised one child, my dad.  One would wonder how much influence she could have on her community. The answer became apparent to all who attended her visitation and funeral.  Hundreds formed a line at her visitation, and nearly all spoke of their memories of Grandma and just how special she was to them.  Sisters, her brother, neighbors, children at church, adults who admired her for her loyalty and faith, pastors, grandchildren, great-grandchildren.  All had special stories of Grandma.

I don't have the words to do justice to my grandmother's life.  I don't have the space on this blog to tell you how special she was.  I can't convey to you the love and kindness she exuded.  She indeed was a very, very special woman.  As my dad wrote in a tribute to Grandma, "  Her great interest was flowers – flowers of all varieties and colors. I watched through the years as she cared for her flowers and plants with strong slender hands and fingers, recalling the correct names for each one. In time, her hands and fingers became stiff… bent from age and arthritis – and then very quickly, it seemed, she couldn’t remember their names at all; and, eventually, she simply forgot to enjoy them". 

Today, she is in a city where roses never fade.  Today, she has no pain from arthritis and age.  Today, she is enjoying her flowers. And I wouldn't be surprised if she has a little one on her lap, scratching his back and reciting beautiful poems and the 23rd Psalm to his delight.

Thank you God for giving me my grandma for a time.  Hopefully, I will get to see her again someday soon.

Democratic and Union Cheeseheads

I watched the television tonight in dismay.  I couldn't believe what I was seeing and hearing.  The unions in Wisconsin have declared war on a "dictator".  They are holding up signs calling the new Republican governor a "Hitler" and a "Mussolini".  The protesters are comparing their protests to those of Egypt and Iran.  The teachers across Wisconsin called in sick and closed down the school system  The Guard is on alert and may have to be called in.  So what has Gov. Scott Walker done to cause such an outcry?  Why is he considered a "Hitler"?

Governor Walker has stated that the state of Wisconsin is broke.  He believes it is time to balance the budget.  Wisconsin faces a $137 million shortfall for the budget year that ends June 30 and a $3.6 billion deficit by mid-2013. Walker's plan calls for nearly all state, local and school employees to pay half the costs of their pensions and at least 12.6 percent of their health care premiums. That would save $30 million by June 30 and $300 million over the next two years.  Walker also wants to end collective bargaining rights for all public employees except local police and fire departments and the state patrol. Wages could be bargained for only if they don't exceed the consumer price index. But the biggest savings Walker is proposing doesn't have anything to do with public employees or collective bargaining. He says the state can save $165 million by June 30 simply by restructuring existing debt.  Walker said all aspects of his proposal — which also allows the state to make any changes to Medicaid without approval of the Legislature and regardless of current law — are necessary to lay the groundwork for his two-year budget plan to be unveiled next week.

To help offset the average 8 percent increase in costs for state employees under his plan, Walker has promised no furloughs or layoffs. He also wants to make it illegal for public employees to be forced to pay union dues, something he said would save some workers hundreds of dollars a year.
 
"That's free choice," Walker said. "That's the American way. That's true democracy."

So that's it.  The details of the bill that I just described is what union thugs believe deserves a comparison to the atrocities committed against the Jews by a German madman and an Italian dictator that committed genocide.

So I encourage the union thugs to keep protesting.  I encourage the teachers to keep calling in sick and leading their students by example.  I encourage the politicians to keep running to Illinois and avoiding a vote. Because if they continue, they will wake a sleeping giant just as the liberal left did on November 2nd, 2010.

Thanks for the Ride

I can remember the first time I rode my bike. My dad pushed me down the sidewalk in front of our house on Peoria Street and my life-long love of riding bicycles had begun.  For me, riding a bicycle is the perfect form of transportation.  Riding is not so slow that it takes too long to get somewhere and it's not so fast that you miss the details.  When I used to do long rides, I loved the feel of the breeze in my face, the burn in my legs, and the rhythm of my breathing with the turn of the pedals.  There is something almost magical about riding a bike.

That is why I got hooked on the Tour de France a long time ago.  I remember watching greats like Bernard Hinault, Eddie Merckx, Jan Ullrich, Miguel Indurain, and Greg Lemond.  But the greatest rider I have ever seen ride was, of course, Lance Armstrong.  His grace, power, strength, agility, and courage made for some of the best Tour de France races I will probably ever see.  I can remember, on his way to a third victory in 2001, he used the now-famous “bluff” to trick his rivals into thinking he was weak and about to fall behind. Then at the base of the final climb, he exploded out of the pack to win the stage atop Alpe d’Huez.

In 2003, Armstrong was the least prepared he’d been for any of this Tour wins, and was under the fiercest pressure yet from the other contenders when Joseba Beloki crashed in front of him on a high-speed mountain descent; Armstrong swerved off the road, bumped over a grassy field, dismounted and hopped a drainage ditch then neatly rejoined the pack on the road below the site of the carnage. Later that same year, knocked down on a climb when a spectator’s bag snagged his handlebar, Armstrong remounted then powered up Luz Ardiden to not only catch his rivals but win the stage — on a snapped bike frame.  In 2009, the aging Texan delivered an unbelievable and improbable third place finish in the Tour after a four year "retirement" from the sport.  In 2010, Armstrong's luck ran out as his 39 year old body hit the pavement time after time and he experienced minor breakdowns throughout the race.

I know some people cry foul and say that Lance is a doper.  I hope not.  I hope that Armstrong, with his large heart and ability to process oxygen better than almost every human being alive, combined with his ferocious competitive spirit and will to win, won 7 Tours while riding clean.  Until someone proves he was a doper, I will be a fan and a believer.

Enjoy retirement 2.0 and thanks for the memories Lance.  

The greatest use of life

Now more than ever, I understand just how finite life is.  It must be a symptom of getting older.  As I drive home to Tennessee, I often see old abandoned barns off in the distance , or even old homes that have fallen into disarray.  It's strange to think that a family once lived in these homes.  Big dreams once flourished in these places.  Now there is no hope.  I am sure that most people zoom by in their cars while traveling the highway and don't think twice about what once was.  I often wonder about the families that once lived there.  What were they like? What kind of man was he? What kind of woman was she? What were their hopes? Did they have children? Why did they move? Where did they go to?

My dad used to have a little plaque at the top of the basement stairs that read, " The greatest use of life is to spend it on something that outlasts it."  As I drive past these places that were left to fall to the ground for one reason or another, I know that the people, the offspring, most likely survived.  Did these people build a family that outlasted these physical premises?  Did they build a lagacy or a heritage that stands strong and firm against the winds of time? Did the man of the house build a legacy that stood or fell?  Am I building a heritage that will stand or fall? What kind of man am I?  How can we become what we so deeply need to be?

Stu Weber wrote a book entitled, The Four Pillars of a Man's Heart. Weber says we need to be:

• A man of vision and character - a  King
• A man of strength and power - a Warrior
• A man of faith and wisdom - a Mentor
• A man of heart and love - a Friend

I am certain that the physical homes and buildings that we work so hard to create will not last. If life is to mean anything, if we are to live life for something that outlasts it, we must build people.

Valentine's Day

St. Valentine, a Roman Catholic, was beheaded on February 14th for his proclamation of the gospel.  Call me dense, but I don't see the correlation between Valentine and celebrating love, and tiny hearts with words on them, or a dozen roses and chocolate.  It seems like a far stretch to me to connect the two.

A more obvious origin of Valentines Day would be the ancient pagan Roman festival of Lupercalia.  In celebration of Lupercalia, to begin the festival, members of the Luperci, an order of Roman priests, would gather at the sacred cave where the infants Romulus and Remus, the founders of Rome, were believed to have been cared for by a she-wolf or lupa. The priests would then sacrifice a goat, for fertility, and a dog, for purification."The boys then sliced the goat's hide into strips, dipped them in the sacrificial blood and took to the streets, gently slapping both women and fields of crops with the goathide strips. Far from being fearful, Roman women welcomed being touched with the hides because it was believed the strips would make them more fertile in the coming year."Later in the day, according to legend, all the young women in the city would place their names in a big urn. The city's bachelors would then each choose a name out of the urn and become paired for the year with his chosen woman. These matches often ended in marriage." (Valentines Day, History Channel web site, retrieved Jan. 10, 2011) Sounds like New York City to me.

Thankfully, my wife understands that I love her more this year, without giving her a single rose, than the year that I gave her 40 dozen roses.  This year I am not even with my wife. It just didn't work out. Dena is at home.  I am in Kentucky.  We did "celebrate" though.  We wore our red shirts and went to P.F. Changs to have a meal together yesterday.  We talked, and we planned, and we shared time together. And that was perfect for me.  We still have fun together, and act silly together, but I also feel like we have a much more comfortable, easy, deeper appreciation and love for each other after 25 years together.

I am not boycotting Valentine's Day, but simply put, I don't need Hallmark to tell me to appreciate my wife.  She is my life partner.  She is my best friend.  She is my confidant.  It has not been easy at times, but for nearly 25 years we have built a life together.  We have raised two boys together.  We have been wealthy together and we have been poor together.  We laugh often and Dena cries often (it's an inside joke)  And, God willing, I will enter into the "late summer" period of my life with her by my side and build many more memories together.

I love you Dena.  Thank you for being more than my Valentine.

Winning the Lottery

Dena and I were lying in bed last night and just chatting like we usually do.  Dena had recorded a show she likes and we watched earlier that evening.  The premise was about a guy that had won $100,000,000.00 in the lottery.  So I asked Dena, "What if we won the lottery? Tell me what you would do with the money?"  It was fun to dream a little.  We talked about traveling, and charity.  We talked about small things like getting new cars (our cars have anywhere from 180,000 miles to 250,000 plus miles on them), and buying new clothes. We decided we would give our family members a certain lump sum of money each.  It could certainly be life-changing.

But the reality of winning the lottery is that it is not really a dream.  For many, winning the lottery has been a nightmare.  For example, William "Bud" Post won $16.2 million in the Pennsylvania lottery in 1988 but now lives on his Social Security.  "I wish it never happened. It was totally a nightmare," says Post.
A former girlfriend successfully sued him for a share of his winnings. It wasn't his only lawsuit. A brother was arrested for hiring a hit man to kill him, hoping to inherit a share of the winnings. Other siblings pestered him until he agreed to invest in a car business and a restaurant in Sarasota, Fla., -- two ventures that brought no money back and further strained his relationship with his siblings.  Post even spent time in jail for firing a gun over the head of a bill collector. Within a year, he was $1 million in debt.  Post admitted he was both careless and foolish, trying to please his family. He eventually declared bankruptcy. Now he lives quietly on $450 a month and food stamps.  Poor people won't cease to be poor until they learn to think differently and change their habits.

Most people think winning the lottery is a gift.  In fact, the real gift is being able to work and provide a living for our family.  Although my current position has many obstacles and presents some emotional hardship from time to time, I am thankful everyday for the talents God has given me to provide an above-average income for my family and for the opportunity I have been given to do so.

In the Grip of Fear

When I was a little boy, I was afraid of the fruit cellar in my grandparents basement. It was dark and mysterious.  However, as the years went on, I learned to like the cellar.  It had a locker full of cool things.  Some of Grandpa's tools were stored there.  Ice skates hung on the wall.  And all of Grandma's canning project lined the shelves of the cellar.  Of course I have gotten over the fear of my grandparent's cellar, but there are still things I fear.  And I don't think I am alone.  I'm not talking about "healthy fear", like the fear that keeps us from taking unnecessary risks like getting too close to the edge of something.  I'm talking about the small "stuff" that can make our stomach a little "queasy",  like asking a beautiful girl out on a date, or dancing in public, or raising your hands in worship to God.  I'm also talking about fears that seem grander in scale and can affect our livelihood, our freedoms, our way of life. For example, we fear layoffs at work, we fear what may happen in Egypt with a new regime, the housing market can crash, all of our life savings can disappear with one wrong decision.  Swine flu, nuclear bombs, high gas prices, being sued, and the spot on our skin that could signal cancer all strike a certain level of fear in our hearts.  So we try to plan our lives so that we safeguard against tragedy.  We have financial planners, we use sunscreen, we insist on a strong military and protecting our borders.  We are so civilized and intelligent, yet "ordinary children today are more fearful than psychiatric patients were in the 1950's".
Take a minute and think about life without fear.  Is that even possible?  Just think what just one day would be like without the fear of failure or rejection or tragedy.  I can hardly imagine the feeling and sense of peace and joy that one would experience.  But I am not fearless.  And sometimes I mask my fear.  When I feel like my life is spinning out of control, I reach for something that I can control.  Sometimes it comes out as anger, sometimes I try to verbally "out spar" others and land a verbal knockout punch.  I sometimes just get mean.  Especially when I feel cornered.  When I am fearful I value safety more than I should.  I don't love as well as I should.  I don't dream.  I don't care.
So what is a man to do?  It sounds like a tired, worn-out phrase but the only two things I know to do are: Trust God and face fear down.  The bible says that God didn't give us a spirit of fear.  I have to trust that He understands and will come along side when fear grips my heart like a boa constrictor. I am not asking for a "pass jail" card.  I am just asking for help to face my fears.  And I also need to practice facing fear.  I need to do something everyday that makes my heart race and my palms sweat.  I need to do something each day that scares me a little.
Only then can I replace my fears and learn trust, and strength, and courage, and confidence.

Liar Liar

I was thinking about the movie "Liar, Liar" the other day.  I thought the movie was funny and refreshing. And insightful.  Nearly everyone lies every day.  Four years ago in a nationwide survey titled "The Day America Told the Truth," 93% of Americans admitted that they lie "regularly and habitually" at work and 35% admitted they have had or were currently having an affair which they were keeping secret from their mates.  Most people rationalize lying be saying that they dont want to hurt someone else's feelings.  Then the question becomes whether withholding information is lying. Would that be considered "turning the other cheek"?  I don't know.  I honestly think radical honesty could be reshreshing after getting over some of the hurt.  The problem for me becomes when people want to practice radical honesty with me.  So the question becomes how honest do you want people to be? If your pastor or boss  or best friend is steaming mad one night, venting to his wife about what some jerk at the church or work said, do you want him to tweet about it? Do you want to know? And if you don’t, is it because that wouldn’t be wise, or because you want to think your pastor or boss  or best friend is somebody he isn’t?

Any thoughts on the wisdom of honesty?

Nothing Happens Until Something Moves

I read a book a few years ago about the "action" phenomenon.  Albert Einstein said, "Nothing happens until something moves" when explaining his Theory of Relativity.  This theory may be Einstein's greatest contribution to science, yet in my mind, this theory applies to all other aspects of life as well.  For example, ideas can help to change the world, preparation is important, wisdom is invaluable.  But in regards to getting things done, when making real change, all of these things are useless, unless one takes action.  In other words, it's not about what you can do: its what you do that counts.

Consider Fred Smith, the founder of Fed-Ex.  I would love to have a penny for every complaint that I have ever heard about the U.S. Post Office, especially when growing up. There was no competition.  It just was what it was.  I am sure other people thought about creating a more efficient and faster way to get mail and packages sent across the country.  Fred Smith was one of those people and in college wrote his college thesis on this subject.  Then he did what very few people ever do, he put action to his written words. And as they say, the rest is history.

I like writing this blog because I get to "preach" to myself.  It's time for me to start taking action again.  Not long ago, it felt like my life was destroyed due to some business ventures that went bad.  At my lowest time, I decided to take a job in Kentucky and live in a camper.  I often talk about the crazy, difficult things that have transpired because of this situation, but in reality, for me the decision to go to Kentucky was just what I needed.  I have had time to think, to be alone, to escape, and try to make sense of things.  To go from having everything I ever wanted to having very little has helped me to refocus and evaluate my priorities.  And I feel like I am healing.  I believe I am close to being able to take the "band-aid" off and to start moving forward again.

A stress free life sounds nice, but really there is an inherent urgency to life.  Life is finite, and we don't know when our finite supply of time will be over.  Life is also a competition.  I competed with every other male on the planet for my wife.  I have competed on athletic teams.  I compete daily with the competition to earn a living.  So I believe it is time to take calculated, strategic action and to try to make progress every day.

The first thing on my "action" list: to get back home.

The WhiteWall Gentlemen

Last Friday was amazing.  Last Friday is the type of night that may never happen again.  It was spontaneous.  It was fun.  And everything happened as if in a dream.  When Dena and I got home, she looked at me and said, "Wow, did that really just happen?"

The "WhiteWall Gentlemen" played about 25 songs at a local restaurant in a nearby town last Friday.  The people dining loved the music.  They were clapping to the beat, dancing, singing along with guys.  People were staying for hours just to hear the music. A man gave me his business card and said he wanted to get in touch with me to book the guys for some events.  The manager called two high-profile record execs and asked them to come to the next gig on February 25th; something he said he has never done before. They agreed to come. Tips were big.  The night was a huge success.  The WhiteWall Gentlemen have the potential and the "it" factor to go places.

But the music is only half of the equation the band needs to be successful.

I have never been in a band.  I can't sing and I can't play one note of any song on any instrument.  However, I have been on athletic teams in high school and college and I have been married for nearly 25 years.  My point is that the Gentlemen need to view the band as a team, as a relationship. The guys are in the "honeymoon" stage of their relationship.  If they want to make it, they need to prepare for the good, the bad, and the ugly.  They will need to communicate with each other like they have never communicated before.  They need to be honest with each other while being respectful.  They need to appreciate each other for who they are and the talents each member brings to the band.  Each guy should have an equal voice.  If they learn to put the other guys before themselves, they can make it work.  There will be "ups" and "downs".  There will be arguments.  There will be times that things couldn't seem better. Through it all, make sure you are each other's biggest fans.

And it will be a long road.  Mozart started writing music at six.  He didn't produce his greatest works until he had been composing for twenty years.  The Beatles got a gig in Hamburg and played there five times between 1960 and 1962.  On the first trip, they played 106 nights straight, five hours or more each night.  On their second trip, they played 92 times.  On their third trip, they played 48 times, for a total of 172 hours on stage. The last two Hamburg gigs, in November and December of 1962, involved 90 hours of performing.  All told, they performed for 270 nights in just over a year and a half.  By the time they had their first burst of success in 1964, the Beatle's had performed live an estimated 1200 times.

So keep playin' Gentlemen.  You have started a good thing but success comes in the journey and making it work for the long road.  Experience all the journey has to offer and, most of all, have fun. 

We love you and believe in you.

Goodnight

No clever or thought-provoking blog tonight.  I am whipped.  What a long day.  I left home and traveled for four hours to my destination.  My trip should have taken me three hours but I was caught in a blinding snow storm on the way.  When I reached my destination, the person that I was to meet and help, decided to go on an appointment early and by himself.  I, in essence, wasted four hours in an attempt to go help him.  I then waited at a restaurant for over an hour for this person to show.  He did not.  He got the wrong city.  I then decided to head back to the office to complete some reports that were due.  I got stuck in a fifteen mile traffic jam that was caused by an "injury' accident.  I left the office around 7:30 and went back to my camper.  I am still working on a phone problem as I write this blog.

I have spoken to some people that have pondered how great it would be to not have to sleep.  They often talk about how much could get accomplished.  As for me, I am so thankful that God, in his infinite wisdom, gave us an opportunity to stop, re-charge our " batteries, take a break from the day, and start over the following morning.

I am definitely looking forward to a new day tomorrow.

Super Bowl Sunday

The Super Bowl.  A game that has become larger than life.  Super Bowl Sunday is the second largest day for food consumption next to Thanksgiving.  Last year's Super Bowl was the most watched television program in American history.  I like football and loved playing in high school and college.  But there seems to be so much made of so little.  I know that statement seems almost un-American until you consider the facts.

Did you know that during an NFL game, the ball is in play just a little more than 10 minutes.  To consider how short that time span is, consider this: The average  broadcast of a game lasts 17 times longer...a grinding 185 minutes.  The Super Bowl broadcast lasts 270 minutes. So where do the extra 260 minutes of down-time go? Well, according to a Wall Street Journal study that analyzed last year's playoff games on four major TV networks, players spend roughly 75 minutes in huddles or hanging around the line of scrimmage.  On average, broadcasters dedicate 17 minutes of airtime to replays.  Typically, cutaway shots of refs and barrel-bellied coaches total 13 minutes.  Cheerleaders get 3 seconds.

And up to 60 minutes of commercials, which, come to think of it, are the reason most of us watch the Super Bowl in the first place, right?

Son of a Survivor

I posted the picture of four generations of Martins at Christmas on facebook and got several wonderful comments from friends and family.  Many people said how fortunate I am to have my granddad and dad still with me.  They have no idea how right they are. First, it's amazing that my granddad is as healthy as he is at 96 years of age.  Secondly, that special picture almost didn't happen because my dad was diagnosed a few years ago with prostate cancer and was told he wouldn't make it much longer.  He was told to go home and die.  Make last plans. He was told to enjoy the sunsets and plan "special" times for holidays.  He was told his prostate cancer was too far along.  So what is a man to do?  After wrestling with the normal cycle of emotions, from devastation to anger to sadness, my father decided he was going to fight; to give it his best shot and leave the outcome to God.

Thankfully, he and my mom found a hospital in Houston, Texas called MD Anderson.  You may have heard of it before.  Lance Armstrong went to MD Anderson to cure his cancer.  One of the really special things about MD Anderson is that they have treatment using proton beams.  It sounds amost sci-fi, but they actually shoot a proton beam into the area around the cancer, killing the surrounding cells so that it can't feed on healthy cells, in effect, starving the cancer so that it basically dies out.  The upside is that there are no side effects, no poisoning of the body such as with chemotherapy, and the individual going through this process basically can live a normal life while undergoing this type of therapy.  A miracle of sorts indeed.  I wanted to write about this today because my dad is in Houston today for a check-up.  His last check-ups have been incredibly good.  My father is now doing a 10 year case study for MD Anderson.  What a far cry from his original prognosis.

My profile says I am the son of a survivor.  It's important to me to identify myself in this manner because I am so proud of my father for how he has fought this disease and the positive things that have happened as a result.  As humans, we often become our best when we face the worst . I don't think a man can stare death down and not be changed and change those around them.  My dad and I have not always seen eye to eye, mostly due to me being stubborn.  But we have a different relationship today because of his experience.  Petty things don't seem as important as they once did.  We talk more often.  We tell each other we love each other and I know we mean it. I like it.  It feels right.  And while I wish my father didn't have to go through this terrifying and humbling experience, in a way, I am thankful that he did. 
I love you Dad.
(p.s.)  If you want to know more about proton-beam therapy, please click on the links below:

http://www.ricksprostatecancer.blogspot.com/
http://www.mdanderson.org/patient-and-cancer-information/cancer-information/cancer-types/prostate-cancer/index.html

Bittersweet

Today was an experience.  Today I got an education regarding our judicial system.  Today was bittersweet.

My attorney was late today, so we (Dena was with me) had our hearing last. I listened to court cases for hours.  It was sad.  I realized I would never want to be an attorney or a judge.  I listened to case upon case get decided by a technicality.  It appears to me to be a game. The person who wins their case usually wins because their attorney catches a simple little glitch.  I listened today to people who didn't get houses built when they were supposed to.  I heard people argue about who paid whom and why. Some guy couldn't get his toilet fixed and didn't want to pay his rent.  The stories go on and on.

I think my hearing was similar.  We won. But I can't do backflips for another 10 days.  The guy that brought the lawsuit against me can appeal for the next 10 days.  He is just arrogant enough that there is a possibility that he may appeal. All we can do is wait.  But all in all, today was somewhat bittersweet.  I dont know if this guy is simply stupid or trying to get something for nothing.  I don't know if he believes his lies or if he is not telling the truth to try and get ahead.  When all is said and done, I would rather not have the conflict (even though I enjoy mentally sparring with someone with good money on the line). I would rather live in peace and harmony. 

Tonight I will lay my head on my pillow and fall asleep with no regrets.  I told the truth. I did my best.  I was able to convey my side of the story well enough that the judge ruled in our favor.  Truth be told, ultimately I can only be responsible for me and my actions.  Win or lose, that has to be good enough.  That seems easy to say today because we won.  Hopefully, I can grow enough that I have this mindset and attitude even when I lose.

Too honest about "Christians"

I went home tonight.  It feels so good to be home on a Wednesday.  The best part is that I will get to be home through Sunday night.  Ah, how sweet it is.  I can't wait to spend some time with my family.

But.....I am home because I have been summoned to court tomorrow and am being sued.  Sometimes, I feel like I cant wake up from this four year nightmare that I have been living.  I feel like it has been one step forward, two steps back.  I digress.  Back to the lawsuit.

I am being sued by a "fine Christian" man.  In my five minute visit to inspect his car at his home, he made sure to let me know that he was a Christian.  He was sure to tell me what church he attends, told me about his answers to prayer, and then used some of the usual "Christian" jargon like "fellowship" and told me his wife home schools because the public schools don't teach his values. Blah, blah, blah, blah, and blah!! And then he sued me.  I won't go into the details of why he is bringing a lawsuit against me, but trust me, it is very, very petty.

This young man is just one of a long, long list of "Christians" and churches that keep me out of the church.  I confess, I haven't been to church on Sunday in 3-4 years, since the time some boys beat my oldest son up during prayer.  I tried to attend some Saturday night services at another church but no one in the church spoke to me or my family for at least 10-15 services that we attended. I won't even go back to previous experiences that I have had with "Christians" and churches. It would open too many wounds.

I love God, I have had some incredible times of prayer and worship in my camper. I read my bible daily.  I want to band together with a group of men that want to go for it, no holds barred. I know I am not even close to being a "good" Christian and I know most people must feel the same things about me that I feel about "Christians".  But I am very close to never going back. I get so much more out of taking a hike on Sunday mornings, or just taking a long car ride through the country.  And I like watching Pastor Maury Davis on TV on Sunday mornings.

I wish that I would have set a better example for my boys.  I wish that I could have been strong like my father and grandfather who attended church no matter how bad it was or how incredibly fake most church members were in my childhood church.  But I can't.  It's not me.  I am sorry Spenny and Josh.  I pray that you can get connected with a group at college or find a youth group you like.  It is important.

Tomorrow in court I will try to "love my enemies and pray for those that persecute me".  I am afraid I will fail. Tomorrow after court, I will move forward and let the past be the past.  I will chalk my court appearance up to another "experience" in my life.  But in the back of my mind, I will always remember how I was treated by this "Christian" man and on Sunday, I will not attend church.

Groundhog Day Geek

Tomorrow is Groundhog Day.  In grade school, Groundhog day was a big deal.  But as time went on, the "holiday" became just another day to me until....the movie "Goundhog Day" starring Bill Murray hit the screen.  My wife will completely disagree, but I think it is one of the best movies ever! I love it!  So today is a light-hearted "blog" day dedicated to an aspect of the movie that I bet you haven't thought much about.  Have you ever thought about how many days Bill Murray's character, Phil Connors, spent trapped in Punxsutawney?  Probably not, but here is an attempt to answer the question that I copied from another blog:

There are, at least, 36 separate days shown in the movie including his multiple death scenes. There could be more, but it's hard to verify if some moments are simply later in the same day or an entirely different day. Additionally, in the scene where Bill Murray revealed he's a god, he stated, “I have been stabbed, shot, poisoned, frozen, hung, electrocuted, and burned.” Of those the movie only showed electrocution, so that brings it to a base line of 42 accountable days. However, there were many days not shown. We know from the scene when Billy Murray and Andy MacDowell are throwing playing cards into a top hat that it would take, “Six months. Four to five hours a day, and you'd be an expert.” So, we have a bare minimum of six months.

Follow up:

In the first half of the movie, the only other truly time consuming event was the the robbery. Let's give him at least a month to plan a proper bank robbery and memorize when wind gusts. This brings us to roughly 256 days by the time he decides he wants to be a better man. However, becoming a better man is the most time consuming part of Phil's journey! He needs to become an expert pianist, an ice sculptor, and learns French. The tough part about this is that is that no one learns these things at the same rate. He could be a very old piano wunderkind after all. Or it could take him 600 years to become a decent ice sculptor. For the sake of argument let's say it takes an average person 3 years to learn to play the piano. It also would take an average person 3 years to become a professional ice sculptor. However, we don't know how good Phil was at either... maybe, he just learned one song, or just how to sculpt Andy MacDowell's face. But for the sake of argument, let's say three years apiece. And he cannot do both at the same time because an ice sculpture is 8 hours of work, and he only has a small window each day to get a piano lesson. Learning French which is also subjective. It's safe to say it would take him, at least, 2 years to learn enough French to read French poetry.
Which puts us at the grand total of 3176 repeated Groundhog days, or 453 weeks, or 105 months, or 8.7 years. Precisely, 8 years, 8 months, and 16 days. 

Now you know.  Happy Groundhog Day!!