Saturday, February 12, 2011

In the Grip of Fear

When I was a little boy, I was afraid of the fruit cellar in my grandparents basement. It was dark and mysterious.  However, as the years went on, I learned to like the cellar.  It had a locker full of cool things.  Some of Grandpa's tools were stored there.  Ice skates hung on the wall.  And all of Grandma's canning project lined the shelves of the cellar.  Of course I have gotten over the fear of my grandparent's cellar, but there are still things I fear.  And I don't think I am alone.  I'm not talking about "healthy fear", like the fear that keeps us from taking unnecessary risks like getting too close to the edge of something.  I'm talking about the small "stuff" that can make our stomach a little "queasy",  like asking a beautiful girl out on a date, or dancing in public, or raising your hands in worship to God.  I'm also talking about fears that seem grander in scale and can affect our livelihood, our freedoms, our way of life. For example, we fear layoffs at work, we fear what may happen in Egypt with a new regime, the housing market can crash, all of our life savings can disappear with one wrong decision.  Swine flu, nuclear bombs, high gas prices, being sued, and the spot on our skin that could signal cancer all strike a certain level of fear in our hearts.  So we try to plan our lives so that we safeguard against tragedy.  We have financial planners, we use sunscreen, we insist on a strong military and protecting our borders.  We are so civilized and intelligent, yet "ordinary children today are more fearful than psychiatric patients were in the 1950's".
Take a minute and think about life without fear.  Is that even possible?  Just think what just one day would be like without the fear of failure or rejection or tragedy.  I can hardly imagine the feeling and sense of peace and joy that one would experience.  But I am not fearless.  And sometimes I mask my fear.  When I feel like my life is spinning out of control, I reach for something that I can control.  Sometimes it comes out as anger, sometimes I try to verbally "out spar" others and land a verbal knockout punch.  I sometimes just get mean.  Especially when I feel cornered.  When I am fearful I value safety more than I should.  I don't love as well as I should.  I don't dream.  I don't care.
So what is a man to do?  It sounds like a tired, worn-out phrase but the only two things I know to do are: Trust God and face fear down.  The bible says that God didn't give us a spirit of fear.  I have to trust that He understands and will come along side when fear grips my heart like a boa constrictor. I am not asking for a "pass jail" card.  I am just asking for help to face my fears.  And I also need to practice facing fear.  I need to do something everyday that makes my heart race and my palms sweat.  I need to do something each day that scares me a little.
Only then can I replace my fears and learn trust, and strength, and courage, and confidence.

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