The Cat's in the Cradle

In 1974, Harry Chapin had a #1 hit song titled The Cat's in the Cradle.  The folk rock song is about a father who is too busy to spend time with his son, although his son constantly asks his dad to join him in some childhood activities.  The response from the father is that he doesn't have time right now but they will play together someday.  The boy continues to admire his father even though his father doesn't spend time with him.  Then the twist at the end of the song is that the son grows up and the father, almost certainly slowed down by age and wisdom, asks his son to spend some time together.....and the son doesn't have time for his father because he has become too busy.  The father then reflects that they are both alike, saying "my boy was just like me".  I learned the song in the District 50 mini-singers (2nd and 3rd grade) to sing for a concert.  And I drove my dad crazy.  I remember him telling me to stop singing the song in the because I would sing it over and over and over. 

This past weekend, I thought of the song for the first time in years.  My son, Spencer, moved out of the house and into his first off-campus apartment.  So many things had to be done and purchased.  It's amazing all of the little things that we use on a daily basis that we take for granted that had to be purchased.

All day was bittersweet to me.  I was realizing that the chances are very good that Spencer will be a "guest only" from this time on in our home; only visiting for holidays and special occasions (and an occasional free meal when cash is low).  And it should be that way.  I was happy because we raised our boys to learn to live on their own and to become productive members of society. 

But the day was also somewhat sad because this was definitely a "marker" day.  It was a day that signaled a real change, not just a change where Spencer goes away to college and comes home for all his breaks and holidays and summer.  It was a day that marked the time that Spencer moved out and may not come back again to live.  And I started to wonder if I had done enough for Spencer.  Did I give him the opportunities that will allow him to pursue his passions? Did I support him well enough emotionally? Did I apologize enough when I screwed up?  Did I screw up too much?  I am sure every parent has gone through the same thing.

The lyrics of the song The Cat's in the Cradle scare me to death.  I hope and pray that I made enough time for Spencer while he was growing up that he will make time for me as time goes by.